Author Archives: Daniel Crawford

PRESS RELEASE: The Final Battle Stage Set!

Mmouse Enterprises Headquarters #1 Memphis, Tennessee May 25, 2024 In preparation for “Armageddon 4: Mickey’s Endgame” this coming Monday, the outcome of both Global Conflict V and the overall Global Conflict Series has been hotly debated ever since. At first glance, PWI and the Million Dollar Corporation (henceforth known as “MDC”) are tied atop theContinue reading “PRESS RELEASE: The Final Battle Stage Set!”

PRESS RELEASE: Mickey Pens a Response to the Ratings and the Industry’s Future

Mmouse Enterprises Headquarters #1 Memphis, Tennessee May 19, 2024 From the Desk of Chairman Mouse: “The numbers just arrived on my desk, courtesy of my secretary, and it confirms everything I’ve known all along: I am the greatest promoter on Earth. How is this so, you may ask? Well, I have been saying since earlyContinue reading “PRESS RELEASE: Mickey Pens a Response to the Ratings and the Industry’s Future”

BREAKING NEWS: NXT Champion Stripped

Breaking News 05/18/2024 From WWE Headquarters CEO Murrey: “I would like to thank the press for joining us today. Dave Meltzer and his expertise is welcomed like always. Sean Sapp another genius in our midst. It saddens me that Lexis King set the coveted NXT Championship on fire. So effective immediately, Lexis is stripped asContinue reading “BREAKING NEWS: NXT Champion Stripped”

WWE SD 5.17.24 (7.325)

Smackdown Results 05/17/2024 Opening The show opens in Mr. Murrey’s office with Elizabeth saying she doesn’t feel comfortable. As Murrey goes to ease her comfort levels, the door swings open and Murrey’s wife yells, “What the hell is going on here?!” CEO Murrey explains that him and Elizabeth were planning a surprise party for Mrs.Continue reading “WWE SD 5.17.24 (7.325)”

The Final PWI Power Rankings (5.17.24)

The Final PWI Power Rankings as of May 17, 2024 All future reports will just be updates on the length of title reigns ** Men’s Division PWI Champion: Ted Dibiase Jr. (18 Days to Date) Premier Champion: Seth Rollins (11 Day to Date) 1. Matt Cardona 2. Attitude 3. Bray Wyatt 4. Nick Jackson 5.Continue reading “The Final PWI Power Rankings (5.17.24)”

NXT Special Report (for 5.14.24)

With the May 14th, 2024 episode of NXT accidentally going “dark” due to a technical glitch, the following is a set of highlights for what transpired on the show: First of all, in the NXT Championship Match, Lexis King successfully retained over Brock Anderson. Then, he subsequently set the NXT Title on fire and declaredContinue reading “NXT Special Report (for 5.14.24)”

WWE MNR 5.13.24 (7.34375)

Raw Results 05/13/2024 Opening The titantron flashes with highlights from Murrey’s luxurious vacation – sipping piña coladas on a private beach, getting a deep tissue massage from a dwarf lady dressed up as midget Hogan, throwing darts at a dart board that have faces of the iconic mouse family plus splinter (Murrey is clearly confusedContinue reading “WWE MNR 5.13.24 (7.34375)”

Wrestling with Lenny, Volume 34

Apologies, my loyal readers, for the somewhat-late update, but that special report on the hidden history of my family took A LOT out of me. So much so that I had to cancel last week’s Maxwellian seminar. This week’s installment of the Volumes and “The Week Starting Today” will be combined due to that specialContinue reading “Wrestling with Lenny, Volume 34”

Special Report: Whatever Happened to Minnie Mouse?

Hi, my fellow fans of this thing that we call “sports entertainment”. I assure you that a special installment of “Wrestling with Lenny” for the next volume, but for now I need to address a more depressing subject: the death of my mother. We four Mouse Brothers don’t speak of it much, because it isContinue reading “Special Report: Whatever Happened to Minnie Mouse?”