WWE:
SummerSlam Delivers: I don’t want to get too in the weeds regarding SummerSlam this week, as half the show took place last week, and this column is supposed to cover the week that was. That does include Night 1, though, which saw me vindicated for my abbreviated predictions I posted on social media over the weekend, re: Naomi.
Naomi is on the run of a lifetime, and for the first time in history, all three companies FINALLY have a Women’s Division worth talking about. In ULW, we’ve got the whole Rousey/Banks/Asuka situation to look forward to, and Timeless Toni Storm and Becky Lynch are stealing the show every Monday in AEW. With Naomi’s ascension and retention, WWE also has a stacked upper division, with the likes of Jade, Rhea, and Stratton waiting in the wings.
From a booking standpoint, Naomi going over was the right call, as I explained in my comments Saturday. She and Jade can now carry the division through the fall if they continue to get the time and focus that’s been devoted to the division so far this season. (That SummerSlam hype video was a nice touch, by the by!)
Pete Turns Heel: I agree with some other pundits that a Pete the Ref heel turn wasn’t on my 2025 BINGO card, but really, there’s no reason for us to be that surprised by it. After his father hand delivered him Nikki Bella as a bride and Pete showed no concern for how that made her feel, one could argue the heel turn had already happened.
That said, WWE’s walked the fine line of making this material, which is pretty dark, pretty fuckin’ funny, and I suppose they’ll continue to do so in the weeks to come. I just hope Nikki escapes before we’ve got ourselves a third-generation Murrey to deal with. It’s bad enough there are so many Mouse family members… we don’t need more “Mr. Murreys.”
Bye, Bye Baby Billy: I can’t confirm this, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that WWE decided to cut the Baby Billy character due to a section of the audience’s unfamiliarity with him. If that’s true, I’m sad to see him go, because his outrageous antics have been scene stealers whenever he’s on the air.
After he supplied Mr. Murrey with cocaine last week, Murrey announced that sponsors at the USA Network demanded to see him axed. Dammit, I knew they should’ve kept this content on Monday nights on Netflix! They’d never demand such censorship!
Either way, I’ll be sad to see Baby Billy go. But who knows… maybe one day, when the audience familiarizes themselves with The Righteous Gemstones (which you TRULY should be watching), they can bring him back to the success the character deserves!
Who’ll Flex Fifth?: Remember that old joke Who’s on First? I’ve thought about that a lot since the Flex Squad promised a fifth member. I’ve been asking myself, who’ll flex fifth? The Squad’s goal is to teach Jesse Ventura some respect! And to think, this could’ve all been avoided if Jesse had just flexed a few times with Fuller, Cage, Luger, and Hobbs. Stupid, stupid man! I’d flex with them if they asked me. They’d be in awe of these 11-inch biceps!
But I digress. As both myself and Quest have pointed out since the season began on July 4, WWE’s Evolve and NXT have been the best programs of the week for the company, and that’s in large part thanks to the TV time the Flex Squad has gotten. WWE’s answer to High Minded and the Manly Men continues to be a ratings hit, and I’m dyin’ to know who the new member will be.
Good shit, peeps.
ULW:
“He Lives…”: Friends and fans of the column will know that I’ve, on more than a few occasions, hinted that I believed Mickey Mouse was still alive following his shocking “death” at the end of the Sixth Era. As time went on, I stopped beating that drum as loudly, but the biggest story coming out of Independent Intentions was footage of Splidder—a contracted BWM Inc. superstar—appearing on Cash Mouse Entertainment in a segment recorded prior to the draft. In that segment, Metal Head demanded to know what else Splidder knew, and that’s when he muttered those two words, as Abigail and Jacob Fatu watched on.
Is that ALL Splidder knows? And, HOW does he live? Those mysteries remain. We did watch him plummet several stories to his supposed demise, but, as I’ve said all along, this is pro wrestling, where literally anything can happen. Hell, even the company I work for heavily implied time travel last Monday night to close out the show, and that’s not even the first time that’s been done in-universe! (Doc Brown, anyone?!)
The ratings popped in a way that only Mickey Mouse’s revival could make them pop, and it topped off what I believe to be an all-time closing segment for the company, complete with backstage antics and the shocking debut of Brock Lesnar (don’t worry, I’ll get to that). The challenge now comes in working back to an explanation and reveal of how Mickey lives—one that’s both hard to see coming and palatable to the fans.
And if Mickey does truly live, you’ve got to know that Lenny’s on borrowed time. And as a quick aside, how great is it that, nearly 15 months since Mickey’s “death,” Benny hasn’t once acknowledged it? Maybe Danhausen truly can see the future! Either way, I’m here for the ride, wherever this one takes us. If they live up to the hype, it could go down as one of the best long-term stories of all time.
The Beast Re-Incarnated: ULW wasn’t shy about letting the rest of the World of Wrestling know back in June that they had their sights set on bringing Brock Lesnar to the company, stating that if they’d gotten to pick first, they’d have cast those lady picks of theirs aside for the Beast Incarnate. But, as luck would have it, WWE got to go first, and they selected Lesnar before Lenny & Co. ever had the chance.
After a brief two-peat loss to The Rock, Lesnar was cast off and traded to ULW, in what I’m only assuming was part of the JadeTrade Scandal. (Will this scandal never die?!?) I went into the main event thinking Jericho would retain the Undisputed Championship, but I did so thinking it’d be thanks to his new stable, The Peak. Lesnar’s arrival pulled off a pretty shocking swerve, and I got texts from friends telling me to switch over to ULW ASAP when he came to the ring and ambushed the legendary Slammu.
I will say, as excited as I am to be sports entertained in such a way, I think Lesnar’s arrival effectively kills Slammu’s push for one more world championship, as the big shark is going to be served up like a platter of tuna to feed the Beast. Lesnar has now worked in all three Seventh Era companies… will his ULW quest end with what he failed to do in AEW and WWE? A world championship? I suppose time will tell!
I Know What You’re Thinking: If you’re wondering why everything I’m highlighting came from the final segment of Independent Intentions, it’s because, like I said, the last 45 minutes or so of the program were aiming to be as stacked as possible (well, save from the random Hook/King skit). Part of that stacking included a sit-down interview with former aerial wrestling great turned magazine columnist, Sunfire, interviewing his former friend/rival, Dragonfly.
In that interview, Dragonfly effectively promised that he will be World Champion once more—and when he wins the belt, it’ll be the last time, because he plans to retire. For real this time. Not like when Matt Cardona beat him fair and square and he reneged. It’s no secret that I’ve always been a Dragonfly mark, but I do feel that “boost” ultimately tainted Cardona, since he lost the rubber match and we never got to settle the series.
Anyways, here’s another reason I think Slammu’s hunt for gold is dead in the water (see what I did there? Get it? Because he’s a shark? No? Whatever, guys…). Dragonfly promised he’d earn his next title shot by working through newcomers and guys who feel they haven’t had a proper chance to shine so far in the Seventh Era. Dragonfly also took a small dig at me and my previous criticisms that the higher-ups in PWI and ULW have never been quite sure how to book him outside of his epic title runs… but if anything, I feel vindicated, because this is the kind of storyline you can really only do on your way out.
But because the whole “legend going for gold one last time” tale will likely only be a story for one, and Lesnar’s got his hands full with Slammu, I just don’t see Slammu getting the strap any time soon. Then again, it is the most hot-potatoed belt in pro wrestling, so maybe I’m wrong? Believe it or not, it’s happened once or twice.
And the Rest: Look, though Dynamite took home first place last Monday, there’s no doubting that ULW put on a solid effort, with standout matches featuring AJ Styles and CM Punk, and Sasha Banks reuniting with Chyna to topple Asuka. On a normal night, these would be highlights I’d have time to focus on, but like I said, the show was stacked, so these things kind of got lost in the shuffle.
I will say I’m not thrilled about the debut of Kama, who is ULW’s baffling second choice for AJ Styles, but I don’t hate him or anything. I’ll give him a chance, even if I think he’s just going to disappear into the midcard after AJ defeats him.
Anyway, that’s all for tonight. Hope you fools have a happy Monday, or as I call it, Wrestling Day! I’ll be back next time with more to Mop-Up!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 