It’s kind of hard to believe that this is the third-to-last Mop-Up of the era, but time marches on for all men and there’s no point in getting sentimental. By now I’m sure you’ve all heard about the PWI’s ratings victory this week – it’s such a rare occurrence that there’s literally a parade and celebration every time it happens. All jokes aside, the Final Asylum deserved it’s first place spot, and Raw was great this week too so I’m not sure the AEW brass are too bothered by the company’s first-ever third place finish, especially after dominating the ratings with a month-long streak of first place finishes. And honestly, AEW could take back to back losses the rest of the era and will STILL be the #1 company of the era come Memorial Day.
But, enough tooting my boss’s horn. Let’s look at the highlights from the week that was in pro wrestling!
WWE:
The Curse Is Lifted: We got a double dose of CEO Murrey this week, and both segments were hilarious. On Raw, we got a few flashes from Murrey’s vacation last week, including a frightening image of a dwarf lady dressed as Midget Hogan working his tired muscles in a massage. After the vacation montage ended, Murrey came to the ring to kick off Raw. It was then that he learned that he’d been negotiating with the wrong Carmello, as he’d almost signed the basketball star Carmello Anthony thinking he was Carmello Hayes. Now, I’m not calling Murrey a racist, but he clearly thinks they all look alike, right?
Then on Smackdown we finally got the introduction of Murrey’s wife, who to this point had only been mentioned. We didn’t get a name for her, and although I know her name (I mean, I’m a reporter, it’s my job!) I’m not gonna reveal it because that’s his job, not mine. Mrs. Murrey walked in on an uncomfortable scene with Murrey trying to make Elizabeth “more comfortable,” and his wife says he’s not been the same since Danhausen cursed him. She revealed Murrey’s had “constant anxiety” and has been pissing blood at night. Murrey says it’s nothing to worry about, and that he and Danhausen have settled their beef in the form of a raise and the option for Danhausen to be in the draft.
Bonus points for Murrey’s hilarious knock at the “Million Dollar Wrestling League” and his continued instance that the Mouse brothers are really midgets in costumes. Good shit, as always!
Cobra Kai Never Dies: I know, I’ve used that heading before, but what would you have me do to convey that Johnny Lawrence just DOES NOT miss?! We got a hilarious segment with him on Raw, in which he almost joined the U.S. Army because he was so distraught about losing the Intercontinental Championship. Lawrence confusing the WOW Draft and a possible military draft is comedy gold. Lawrence has a change of heart about joining the military when he realizes that the Army is no longer full of bad asses, and is instead full of “nation building” and “pencil pushing.” I wasn’t expecting in-depth social commentary from a Johnny Lawrence segment, but I’m here for it!
On Smackdown he continued to steal the show with his concept of the “Thousand Dollar Wrestling League,” which will include a Northeast, Northwest, Southwest, Southeast, and Middle East division. It was also the first time we’ve seen Lawrence and Lexis King interact, and now I’m kind of sad that King looks to be on his way out because the two could make some real magic together.
All that aside, if we were worried that Lawrence was in trouble post Intercontinental Championship reign, I think this week shows he’s gonna be more than fine wherever he lands on the card. Dude truly makes the most of his time on screen and has been an undeniable ratings juggernaut for an entire year. Pretty impressive, if you ask me!
NXT: The Lost Episode: So, a weird thing happened this week with a pivotal episode of NXT that saw Lexis King defeat Brock Anderson to retain his championship, only to then set it on fire while declaring he’s entering the draft in search of greener pastures.
I happened to catch the episode live, but I always DVR them to watch later when I do these reviews. But for some reason, every major cable company failed to record the episode, and now it seems lost to the ether. That said, it was a pivotal moment for King, and for the NXT brand in general.
CEO Murrey also announced later in the week that a tournament will crown the next NXT Champion, and that in punishment for his behaviors, Murrey plans to draft King back to his company just to make him a camera man on NXT Level Up!
Regardless of how it all plays out, I’m loving AEW & WWE’s focus on the upcoming draft – it just makes it all feel bigger and more important.
PWI:
The Final Asylum: Look, I know it’s kind of cheating to group all of this together as one – and fear not, I’m going to zero in more on this in the coming bullet points, but the entirety of the Final Asylum was good shit, with two show-stealing bouts in FRED vs. Giant Gonzales and DiBiase Jr vs. Dragonfly 2, and solid storyline advancements with Mickey/Bliss, Lenny/Vinny, and Catherine and “The Devil.” It’s sort of fitting that the final episode of Asylum took home the first place spot, after first place had alluded the show for the bulk of the era. I will say, it’s looking more and more like Mickey will win the Global Conflict, but I think it’s all a red herring. Catherine is literally playing with blood magic, and you don’t introduce such a wild storyline if it’s not going to pay off. So I’m still pulling for a UWA revival in the end.
Orton vs. Dragonfly: Remember last week when I said I’d given up on getting this bout? Well, good things come to those who wait, because now it looks like I’m getting the payoff to this storyline after all! The winner of tomorrow’s opening contest is going to challenge DiBiase Jr. for the title in the main event, and I’m thinking Orton’s going to win because I doubt we get DiBiase vs. Dragonfly three times in a row.
Mayhem Highlights: Though HCW Mayhem was the fourth place show this week, there were some truly outstanding moments on the show, including Jesse Hash and the Crock setting up a big match for Armageddon 4, as well as an impassioned interview from Slammu about how he’s gonna kick Rip’s ass. Additionally, Mickey revealed that if/when he wins the Global Conflict series, the final battle will be a Capture the Leader Crimson Car Match, a match that he plans to participate in!
Apologies for this being rushed this week, I promise I’m gonna deliver in the final two Mop-Ups to make up for it.
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 