Mmouse Enterprises
Headquarters #1
Memphis, Tennessee
May 19, 2024
From the Desk of Chairman Mouse:
“The numbers just arrived on my desk, courtesy of my secretary, and it confirms everything I’ve known all along: I am the greatest promoter on Earth.
How is this so, you may ask? Well, I have been saying since early 2020 – when BWM Inc. had resumed its all-too-familiar erratic streak – that our product was the superior one built to last. As I have said at each phase of ‘competitiveness’ throughout this era, the moment that the so-called ‘Elite’ subjected themselves to a consistent schedule, the sustainability of their supposed dominance would be exposed as the fraud it always was for PWI would soon rack up victories more and more as time went by.
So, low and behold, BWM Inc. has now been more consistent than at any point in twenty years since the UWF at the peak of the Third Era, and PWI has now enjoyed two direct head-to-head victories over AEW within a month and half. Not only that, but AEW also placed third for the first time ever; sandwiched between the second-place WWE and the deceased HCW!
We have now experienced 3 ratings victories as the top promotion of the night within that same span of time. Additionally, Murrey’s WWE has fallen behind us eight times in the past 4 months, with HCW even topping them once on their own. I guess this means that he has returned to form as my proper bitch; just as he was for so long!
Speaking of HCW, while it is noteworthy that John Brown’s brainchild enjoyed its highest rating of all time on the very last HCW show, it is fitting that the last HCW broadcast had its clock cleaned by the final installment of Asylum. Consider it a sign of things to come as we head into the final throes of this war.
As for the war itself – and beyond -, I have a few things to say. First and foremost, everyone in the Million Dollar Corporation and the Wish.com knock-off UWA needs to prepare their resumes for the era of sadness to come, as the end is truly coming near. Make no mistake, I…will…win. Your career and this industry will die in a blaze of glory at my hands, just as it was always meant to be.
When PWI wins Global Conflict V and comes out on top of the overall war’s tally, our victory will be a foregone conclusion. Just as I said this past Monday, the stipulations of the Final Battle will be clear: Crimson Car Rules, in a 4 on 3 on 3 handicap match, with the first team capturing – that means “eliminating”, for you simpletons – the captain of ANY team being the winner. Moreover, I am announcing that I will be one of the 4 participants on Team PWI, and Teams MDC and UWA must also include one of their recognized leaders in their teams!
I want to be the one who takes out the industry with my own hands. It will be my hand raised when it is all said and done. It will be my voice heard resoundingly celebrating the outcome as the entire world mourns the loss of the greatest form of entertainment to ever exist!
And that brings me to the final piece of business: the aftermath. After I end PWI and bring the Million Dollar Corporation, HCW, and the dreams of a renewed UWA down with it, I will set my sights on guaranteeing that my vision is carried out…as a poison pill of sorts in the upcoming 2024 Draft.
How will this work? Well, it’s simple. I will declare Mmouse Enterprises as a participant in the draft, but the goal will be to rob the industry of all of its possible ‘stars’ who can possibly save the business from dying in the coming months and years. I will exploit the exemptions rule to prevent the top 20 stars from Mmouse Enterprises from being drafted, and then I will unleash hell on the available talent in the remaining pool to steal valuable stars with drawing power for an ‘annual permanent reserve’. That’s 50 rounds, with the potential of pulling 90 stars out of consideration from WWE and AEW; and a total of 120 stars when you include the 20 exemptions and 10 legend exemptions.
Now, before Murrey, Sami, or Benny start to bitch and moan about fairness, I will simply enter the draft officially with a prospective wrestling promotion called the ‘Possible Wrestling Association’. The plan is to never debut, but it’s possible that I may change my mind, even if only for one event a year.
I will further point to the precedent set by BWM Inc. over the past 20 years as they have participated in numerous drafts only to effectively hold valuable talent hostage (due to their lack of events, even going 2 and a ½ years from June 2020 to November 2022 without holding a single independent show) while Benny was banging his head off of a rock or some shit. My promise of possibly one event a year will be far more reliable a schedule and pledge than the fans or the WOW EVER got from Benny, and no one ever said a word about his dereliction of duty!
So, there you have it: my plot laid bare for all to see. You now know how I intend to ensure that the industry dies, because now you will surely see how it couldn’t possibly survive an intentional and malicious attack on its very core.
Yes, some valuable talent will slip through the cracks, but as I participate in each successive draft as a spoiler, the business will only continue to weaken year after year until…nothing.
Call the funeral home and a priest, because the time to bury this shit is fast approaching and the last rites must be read. See you tomorrow night for the beginning of the end!
P.S.: Oh yeah, and STOP ASKING ME ABOUT THAT BITCH WHO LENNY CLAIMS IS MY TWIN!!”
Respectfully submitted by:
Mmouse Enterprises Spokesman, Lawrence Mason
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 