Chris Hyatte here, back with the Mop-Up for PWI’s pre-season premiere (which goes head to head with WWE Raw’s Season 2 premiere, but I’ll circle back to that in tomorrow’s Raw Mop-Up)
Only four days removed from Starrcade and less than a week removed from the 2023 World of Wrestling Draft, it’s as if the entire industry has reset, and I’m curious to see where things go next. (Programming Note: AEW is back next week for our Season 2 premiere, but you already knew that.)
Ross and Venom welcome us to PWI Live, and I’m still irritated by the show’s name, it makes it sound like a glorified house show. We’ve got a huge main event slated with The Attraction (Teo & Attitude’s horrendous tag name) but first, we’re treated to Mickey’s music as the MMouse Enterprises CEO comes to the ring. Perhaps to explain his actions?? Or, perhaps to ramble for 10 minutes? Only time will tell. Mickey explains that he cost Orton the belt because he’s an outsider to PWI… saying Orton isn’t ready for the often third-ranked in the ratings PWI. *eye roll* I am laughing at the implied face-turn for Orton, as he’s worked as a heel the entirety of his career. But feuding with Dragonfly and perhaps even Mickey will make him a face by default.
Mickey explains he’s going to simplify things with the titles and the number of shows, but doesn’t elaborate. I suppose we’re just going to have to take his word for it. I have more thoughts, but I need to be careful what I say because they take my suggestions to heart and I don’t want to accidentally inspire them to run 12-match Monday shows.
Venom explains the new 20 years younger/retirement rule, AKA the Purge Rule (all of which has been mostly explained off air… ya gotta love when a TV show gives us homework!)
Mark Henry’s out next, and the World’s Strongest Man looks to finally establish his career on solid footing. Venom says Henry’s back after going to “no man’s land” AKA the AEW, despite the fact that Henry competed in the TV Title tournament. The Purge Rule is in effect since Henry’s been around since the 90s. Cameron Grimes is out next, as one of Jeff Murrey’s standout stars of the era hopes to make his mark in PWI. On one hand, the Purge Rule offers some stakes for otherwise meaningless matches, but on the other hand, I also knew without a doubt that Mark Henry was winning this one… (spoiler alert: he did)
Backstage, Pac, Jason Jordan, and some dude (Thatcher, maybe?) get attacked by Lance Archer. Archer has only had one match this era, and while the attack was random, I’m happy he’s getting some exposure.
AJ Lee is in the back looking for Catherine, and instead runs into Jade Cargill, who she doesn’t recognize. Feels a little racist to me. Lee’s career never got off the ground in AEW, despite briefly working with Athena Star, as she fell second-fiddle to Rousey and Sasha Banks. That said, Lee’s career is about to turn around, because she wasn’t PWI’s number one draft pick for no reason…
We’re back at ringside for our second bout, as Alexa Bliss prepares to take on Amazon. I swear to god if they say the Purge Rule is in effect and they retire Amazon with such little fanfare, I’ll fucking riot. I haven’t had a good riot in years! YUP, the rule is in effect! No way Bliss jobs here, either, as she’s in the midst of a Bray Wyatt style gimmick. I mean, you saw how she teleported to the ring to stare down the Knockouts Champion Sasha Banks, right!? We get a solid back and forth contest and the crowd delivers a “this is awesome chant.” Side note, that’s the most overused chant in all of wrestling, and fans should reserve it for when things truly are awesome. This match was good, but it wasn’t “AWESOME.” The lights flicker before shutting off, and Bliss summons her inner magic for the distraction, hitting the Sister Abigail. She follows it up with the Code Red and the Twisted Bliss, and just like that Amazon’s career is over with little to no fanfare. Great, we’re two matches in and I’m already too pissed off to function. WHAT A STUPID FUCKING RULE. Seriously though, Amazon deserved better. We get the standing ovation and the Thank You Amazon chant, which is cheapened by the fact that Motivation literally just ended the same way with Scott Nash. WHO WRITES THIS SHIT?!? I get the urge to retire her, but the LEAST she deserved was an actual final storyline, and not just a random match on a random show.
Backstage, Nikki Cross runs into Alexa Bliss. I swear, half of this company’s segments involve people walking into one another or laughing.
Mason is backstage with T&A, and all I can think about is the fact this stupid fucking company brought this tag team back on a god damn house show. Now, the Purge Rule is also in effect for our main event as well. Only 3 matches in and I’m already bored of this rule.
We cut backstage where Becky Lynch has been knocked out; it’s presumed that Liv Morgan did it, but we’ll probably never know for certain, given how PWI works.
Anywho, it’s main event time, and the Young Bucks and T&A put on a clinic of tag team wrestling. It’s true that the PWI’s tag division took some hits in the draft, but when you watch this main event, it’s clear to me that they’ll weather that storm. The Young Bucks will be tag team champions, but I don’t think that happens tonight. Jackson hits the Metlzer Driver on Attitude but Dash Wilder causes a distraction, allowing Dawson to interfere. Attitude follows it up with the Attitude Adjustment and the champs retain, capping off PWI’s pre-season premiere.
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 