Press Release
July 24th, 2025
12:50am
St. Louis, MO
Cash Mouse Entertainment HQ
Moments ago, ULW learned of a two-show winning streak (with ULW Extreme Intensity defeating Friday Night Smackdown on July 18th and ULW Awesome Aggression defeating Dynamite and Raw on the 21st), and now the acting Vice Commissioner of ULW, Vince Russo has some words for the world:
Attention Bros and Brodettes (that’s the non-bitch/non-Ho Bro-people with vaginas),
I have heard the awesome and totally expected news that ULW – which should definitely be Bro-L-W moving forward, if I can get my main Bro Lenny to back me up – defeated the Non-Bro-Wrestling’s Dynamite and No-Vince-Wrestling’s Raw on Monday Night, as well as No-Vince-Wrestling’s Smackdown on Friday.
I am so stoked, bros! Like, I was already totally going to give a rad “State of the Bro Address” this coming Monday (which is absolutely NOT a copy of Chad’s Presidential Address, bros, like I would never copy any bro, because that’s not what a high-class Bro like myself would do, bro), but now that Bro State Address thingy will be so much more bro-empowered because of the mighty bro-lessings of all you fab bros out in the world.
Like, I want to give you all the biggest “BRO, THANK YOU, BROS!” that I’ve ever given, but bros, this will have to do. Hope the lack of a “BRO, THANK YOU, BROS!” will not get me kicked off the Bro of Fame Wall of Bros, bro, like that would be totally non-bro material.
Just not cool, bro. Not cool. Don’t do that to a Bro.
Anyways, bros, I will be giving you all a shout out on Monday and sticking it to Momma Russo who never believed in a Bro!
Take that, Momma, you non-believing Ho, bro!
Respectfully (and confusingly) submitted by
Lawrence C. Mason
Communications Director and Spokesman for Cash Mouse Entertainment
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 