WWE Evolve Results — July 23, 2025
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, FL
Commentary Team: Robert Stone & Peter Rosenberg
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Opening Segment: “Broken Skulls and Broken Marriages”
The show opens backstage with Stone Cold Steve Austin, rocking a “Head Coach” t-shirt, pacing back and forth near a squat rack. Nikki Bella, in gym gear and an oversized hoodie that reads “Mrs. Ref No More,” looks exhausted but determined.
Stone Cold: “Nikki, lemme tell ya somethin’. You’ve been bustin’ your ass in this here Performance Center like a damn Rattlesnake tryin’ to break out of a love triangle. And even though you’re stuck in a marriage with Pete the Ref—AND I DUNNO HOW THAT HAPPENED—you keep showin’ up, doin’ cardio, throwin’ dropkicks, and refusin’ to sign them divorce papers. That’s commitment, dammit!”
Nikki wipes a tear while stretching.
Nikki: “Thanks, Steve. Every time Pete counts to three at home, I start crying.”
Stone Cold: “WHAT?”
Nikki: “I said every ti—”
Stone Cold: “WHAT?”
Nikki: “…Nevermind.”
Stone Cold hands her a protein shake and walks away muttering, “I swear if he botches one more dinner, I’m callin’ the whole damn marriage off myself.”
—
Match 1: Rhea Ripley (w/ Dominik Mysterio) vs. Lita
Rhea Ripley makes her entrance looking like a gothic tank, followed by Dominik Mysterio wearing aviators and a “Mommy’s Little Heater” tank top. Lita gets a strong pop, but the mood turns quickly when Dominik distracts the referee by pretending to cry and claiming he “lost his eyebrow ring in the ring.”
While the ref searches for imaginary jewelry, Rhea hits Riptide on Lita into an exposed turnbuckle (thank you, Dom) and pins her clean. Post-match, Dominik hugs Rhea like he just won custody in court.
Robert Stone: “I can’t believe it, Peter. This man just weaponized fake tears!”
Peter Rosenberg: “Honestly, I’d cry too if I lost to my mom’s favorite wrestler.”
—
Match 2: Evolve World Championship
Jesse “The Body” Ventura (c) vs. Conor McGregor
The lights dim and a bald eagle graphic flies across the screen. Jesse Ventura walks out wearing a Street Sharks “Slammu” t-shirt that reads “26X”.
McGregor, ever brash, comes out swinging both verbally and physically. He shadowboxes, trash-talks the crowd, and tries to bite a fan’s foam finger.
The bell rings, Jesse immediately hits a spinebuster, then slaps on a nerve hold that he insists is called “The Truth Lock.” Conor passes out in 92 seconds.
Peter Rosenberg: “That was… disturbingly efficient.”
Robert Stone: “Conor might’ve just got beat back to Bellator.”
Post-match, Jesse grabs a mic and screams, “I AIN’T GOT TIME TO BLEED! BUT I DO HAVE TIME TO DOMINATE!”
—
Segment: “The Presidential Address” featuring Chad Gable
Cut to an American flag waving dramatically, eagles cawing, and a pipe organ playing a mashup of “Hail to the Chief” and Kurt Angle’s theme. Chad Gable stands behind a podium in a full suit and Olympic gold medals. Doc Brown is clapping feverishly.
Chad Gable:
“My fellow Americans… today we face a threat unlike any before. A threat… in masks. With flips. And no clear understanding of chain wrestling!”
He pounds the podium.
“I hereby declare… WAR on Lucha Libre! No more huracánranas in our streets! No more tope suicidas in our schools! I will suplex every luchador from Mexico to Milwaukee!”
He pulls out a map with stick figures being German suplexed into volcanoes labeled “Lucha Zones.”
Gable: “This isn’t about style. It’s about AMERICAN GRAPPLING VALUES!”
Fade to black as “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT!” flashes across the screen.
Peter Rosenberg: “I don’t know whether to laugh or be terrified.”
Robert Stone: “I, for one, welcome our mat-based overlord.”
—
Main Event: Jade Cargill vs. Bayley
Special Guest Commentary: Naomi
Bayley enters with energy and hugs — the crowd eats it up. Jade Cargill storms out looking like she’s carved out of championship gold. Naomi joins commentary in a highlighter green outfit, throwing shade before the bell even rings.
Naomi: “Jade thinks she ran ULW. She was the queen of a sinking ship.”
The match is hard-hitting. Bayley goes technical early, but Jade powers out and dominates with raw strength. Naomi critiques every move.
Naomi: “That spinebuster? I’ve seen toddlers fall harder. Let’s be real.”
Late in the match, Bayley goes for the Bayley-to-Belly, but Jade blocks it and hits Jaded with a snarl. 1-2-3. Jade wins decisively.
After the match, Jade stares Naomi down at the commentary table. Naomi gets up, points to her headset like, “I got work to do,” and walks off smirking.
—
Final Shot:
Stone Cold is shown backstage again, watching the monitor, sipping a Broken Skull IPA, muttering:
“Ain’t nothin’ real anymore. Luchas at war. Jesse beat an MMA guy in two minutes. Nikki’s still married to a damn referee. And now Jade might kill Naomi.”
Smash to black.
**
WWE Press Conference: The Rock Makes Major SummerSlam Announcements
Location: WWE Headquarters Press Room – Stamford, CT
Date: July 23, 2025
(The press room is buzzing with media, photographers clicking as The Rock steps up to the podium wearing designer sunglasses, a tailored suit, and the WWE Championship slung over his shoulder. A massive WWE SummerSlam banner hangs behind him.)
—
THE ROCK:
(smirks, adjusts title on his shoulder)
Finally… The Rock has come back… to Stamford!
(Crowd pops, a few chuckles from reporters.)
Now The Rock knows exactly why you’re all here. And it isn’t to see Dem Boys! Which by the way, The Rock’s papa, Rocky Johnson Jr., taught a young Rock that you don’t give anyone without teeth the time of day unless her name is Debra, doesn’t talk much, has a blank stare, and let’s you do stuff to her! You’re here to find out what’s next for the WWE Championship. You’re here to find out what’s going down at SummerSlam. And most of all… you’re here because the undisputed People’s Champion has once again laid the SmackDown on the candy asses of anyone who doubted him.
Let’s start with the big question: Brock Lesnar.
Now The Rock respects Brock. He’s a beast, no doubt. He’s a Hall of Famer-in-waiting. But facts are facts, jabroni. The Beast lost. Twice. Back-to-back. And when you lose to The Rock twice, that earns you a little vacation from the title picture.
So here’s the ruling straight from The Final Boss himself:
Brock Lesnar will be suspended from WWE Title contention for two months. That’s one month for each of the losses.
(Camera flashes pop, reporters scribble notes.)
Don’t worry, Brock. You’ve earned yourself a break. Go hunting. Go chop trees. Go eat a moose with your bare hands. But you ain’t eating at the People’s table until October. Know your role and wait your turn.
Now… with The Beast temporarily on ice, that leaves one very important question:
Who will face The Rock for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam?
This Friday night on SmackDown, live from Cleveland … The Rock will personally step into the ring and explain how the main event will look for Night Two of SummerSlam. Whoever it is, if it is anyone at all… you better bring your A-game, because The Rock’s on another level, and he’s got no plans of stepping down.
(Pauses, smirks again.)
But that’s not all. You see, The Rock believes in evolution. The Rock believes in putting the spotlight where it belongs. And that’s why…
Night One of SummerSlam will be headlined by the Women’s World Championship match.
(Cheers from a few in the room, nods of approval.)
That’s right. The Rock made the call. The women are bringing it night after night, stealing the show, raising the bar — so now they’re gonna raise the stakes. The Women’s World Title goes on last on Night One. Respect earned, spotlight deserved.
(The Rock leans in to the mic.)
So to summarize: Brock’s sitting it out so he can spend more time in Canada with his pig face daughter. The Rock’s naming the #1 contender this Friday…maybe. And the women are headlining Night One.
The Final Boss has spoken. Now kindly — if ya smelllllllll — what The Rock… is… cookin’.
(He raises the title high, music hits, flashes go off as The Rock exits the podium with trademark swagger.)
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 