Anthony’s Side Mission 2.0: Bitch Please

Anthony’s Side Mission 2.0 – Bitch Please

Nah, man! HELL NAH!! Triple H wanna talk shit up in here when he knows I ain’t all about it. His freshly bald ass knows that I will straight up unalive a bitch…in COD, of course. Meet me on the game, bitch! MEET ME ON THE GAME!!

Other than that, I ain’t mean no disrespect, yo. I was just tryna point out some shit that I didn’t like while offering praise where I could. Don’t get it twisted, this G with that hang bigger than the Sears Tower doesn’t play around when it matters, what matters right now is that I am single-handedly responsible for improving Raw last week. Yup, ya heard right! Send your fan-mail and money to my house ASAP, cuz my rep is on the rise like my blood pressure and dem titties when you see me walking in!

One of the areas that I saw massive improvements was when they had my homie Truth back on my television talking about what it takes to be WWE champion! He knows his time is coming! He knows!!

Look, they also gave my girl Asuka her title back at the end of the show, and now I can holler at her and tell her to thank her boss’s new daddy for making it happen! YA HEARD?!!!!!

I also need to give some mad props to Gable, the mad killer Kross, and boring ass Dunne, for giving us the best damn match of the night! Ya boy! They had me rocking at the end of my seat, throwing popcorn every which way but my face hole out of excitement! It was incredible! If the brothers at the WOW ever agree to put me on the Board, I’m straight up sending Gable a box of roses, Kross and straight jacket, and Dunne a fuckin personality! Great job, boys!

Now, let me talk about this bullshit…not the fact that WWE lied to us about having a Smackdown this past week (am I watching EWA here, or what?? Shit!), but Imma have to address the fact that the New Day is new big mad…at each other! WHAT THE FUCK?! It’s like Doc Brown slipped some psycho juice into Kofi’s box of Booty-Os a few weeks ago, because he has been TRIPPIN!

What are you so mad at, Kofi? You and E need each other…like bad. You know me, I keep it 100 ALL DAY (yeah, I’m using that, Theory, because nobody ain’t seen yo ass since the Big Bang). Kofi, E is THE ONLY reason yo ass has ever held a strap! C’mon, brotha, keep this shit real! Geez…

Now, we got the Invisible Man, er, John fuckin’ Cena burying my boy, the Yeet Man, and proclaimin that he has somehow earned a shot at AJ Styles?! What the fuck, Trips, are they just gettin these title shots out of Cracker Jack boxes or somethin? Shit, can I get a shot? I swear you’ll get such a ratings boost that it will feel like Doc Brown injected his magic elixir in yo spreadsheet! I got that riz off the charts so grand yo ass could see it from Andromeda! Yeah, I got fire for days, bro!

And, finally – cuz this is all we got from the E this past week, lyin ass mothas -, let’s talk about my top G, the Tribal Chief, and the man who is gonna topple the Rock like an avalanche…Roman Reigns!

My dude arrived, told Rock and the people how it is and how it’s gonna be, and then bounced like a fully inflated basketball on the Moon! Get with the program, my peeps, throw them ones in the air, and follow yo new leader to glory! Roman has arrived and my game’s update has finally finished! Hell yeah!

I’m out!

Until our next Mission, this has been Anthony!