Anthony’s Side Mission – An Introduction to WWE
What up, dogs?! This be Anthony with the dick and bigger dreams of making it on the commentary team. Yeah!
Let’s get right to it, y’all!
WWE redux has been FIRE lately, but I really scratch my head over the confusing decision to erase everything in Murrey Entertainment just so the other bald guy with no experience running a company whatsoever can have a crack at establishing his own legacy.
I mean, erasing your browser history? I totally get that. Hell, I have done that plenty of times. I have to, after all, since I still do live in my momma’s house. She don’t tolerate SHIT, man!! But for Trips to hop in there and wreck shit like some cracked out Easter bunny just so he can lay his own eggs. That shit don’t fly with me. Know what I’m sayin’?
Anyways, there are a few things that I have seen in WWE that I definitely fuck with, tho. I loved that match between Otis and Gable for the Intercontinental Championship. It was straight up crazy, yo! Oh, and R-Truth, he was clownin everyone backstage, making them think he’s too stupid to realize that those aren’t his flowers. He know what he doin’, no cap! R-Truth for WWE DOGE, bro! Straight for the top! Fuck Karrion, too, while we at it. He ain’t shit! (Don’t tell him I said that, tho. My momma won’t appreciate his skinhead-looking ass barging up in our house tryna curb stomp me and shit!)
Do It Yourself becoming the new tag champions. I dig it, but they have to really convince me and the rest of TV Land that they belong here for the long haul. Too many posers with tag gold over the decades, and we ain’t got time for that in this new era. You know me, I keep it 100 all day!
But do you know who really got that rizz? Fucking Rock and Roman each have enough to supply the whole planet for generations. They finna feed whole ass families for life with this story, bro. Speaking of “bro”, where the fuck Russo at? I fuck with that bro, for real, bro.
Who am I forgettin’? Oh yeah, Solo, bro. This dude got punked by Rock a couple weeks back, and he hasn’t stopped eatin’ shit since. I know he got that dub this past week, but I fear that he has peaked early, on some real shit. What about that fuck boy, AJ, man? I mean, he talented and all, but does he really deserve that strap? Prolly, but I think it’s time for WWE to pass that torch, ya heard me?
And, while we on the subject of forgotten G’s and whatnot, what the fuck is this shit I see with Asuka being denied an historic run as champion just to tag with Naomi for nothin’? I mean, Naomi fly and all, but Asuka is a generational talent, for real. Put that bitch on Mount Rushmore, pronto!
Speaking of bitches, why is Butch going by Pete boring-ass Dunne again? Get this guy a personality and a G-String, or something. Make me care, bruh. MAKE ME CARE! Y’all gonna fuck around and have me playing around with my member out of boredom, bruh, no cap.
As for the preview for tonight’s Raw, what is this that I hear about Gable being a “fighting champion”, didn’t that dude JUST win the damn gold? How he gonna be a fighting champion when he only had one match in your company that just Thanos-snapped the O.G. WWE out of existence? Just sayin’!
Trips also wants me to pop a tent over the news that Cena is in action as well. I mean, he cool and all, we used to spit a few rhymes back and forth at each other back in the day, but what has this homie done since the new HCW shut down? What? Nothin’, exactly! Bruh!
Now, I will tell you what does have me readjusting my historically large appendage, bruh, it’s the return of the Tribal Chief, yo! Shit’s about to be magical!
Well, that does it for my rundown of WWE on some lonesome shit this time around. Let’s hope I don’t have to do this again for a while, ya heard me? Back to COD to teach these online bitches who the boss really is!!
PEACE and BIG DICKS, BRUH!
Until our next Mission, this has been Anthony!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 