RAW RESULTS
04/22/2024
DO YOU HAVE THE STOMACH FOR THIS?
Miss Elizabeth burst into Murrey’s office, eyes blazing. “Murrey! I’ve had enough of your nonsense.”
Murrey looked up from his desk, beads of sweat forming on his brow. “Ah, Elizabeth, my sweet lilac blossom! To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Cut the crap, Murrey. I want you to stop telling everyone we’re having some nasty office affair. It’s an absolute lie and it’s hurting my reputation.”
Murrey squirmed in his chair. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, my delicate flower. You see, I’m under a dreadful curse laid upon me by that fiend Danhausen.”
“A curse? What are you blathering about now?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
“Ever since he hexed me, I’ve been stricken with horrendous panic attacks and a total lack of control over my bowels!” Murrey cried, clutching his stomach. “Spreading salacious rumors is the only way to weaken the curse’s grip!”
Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “You can’t possibly expect me to believe this bullshit. Get a grip, Murrey!”
“No, you get a grip! On reality! This is no joking matter! Now if you’ll excuse me…” He dashed out of the office, a stricken look on his reddening face.
A REAL AMERICAN
The camera panned slowly across an empty parking lot, finally resting on two figures standing at somber attention. Shinsuke Nakamura and Doc Brown had their hands raised in rigid salutes, eyes locked intensely on a…McDonald’s flag?
Yes, the bright red rag with those infamous golden arches whipped proudly in the breeze as the pair maintained their patriotic poses.
Doc broke the silence first, his wild grey hair seeming to quiver with excitement. “Nakamura-san, we stand before the most celebrated icon in all of American cuisine. Today, you will experience her crowning achievement!”
Nakamura’s eyebrow did a puzzled little dance. “Achievement…?”
“The Big Mac!” Doc bellowed, throwing his arms wide. “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun! A culinary masterpiece!”
Lowering his salute, Nakamura cocked his head skeptically. “You bring me to try…burger?”
Doc clasped his hands together fervently. “Not just any burger, my friend. This is a sacred rite of passage for anyone wishing to truly understand American culture. Now come!”
He grabbed Nakamura’s arm and started hauling him towards the McDonald’s entrance, the wrestler shooting one last confused look at the arches rippling overhead.
“Witness culinary perfection!” Doc shouted.
Fade to commercial
Opening Contest
Ivar vs Andrade
The opening pyro exploded as the Raw intro music hit, signaling the start of another electrifying episode. The camera panned across the roaring crowd before settling on the announce team.
“We’re live here in Columbus, Ohio!” Pat McAfee’s voice boomed. “And we’re kicking things off with a huge singles match!”
The Viking Raiders’ theme blared, and Ivar burst through the entrance curtain, roaring and beating his chest. After basking in the crowd’s cheers, he charged down to the ring.
“Just Ivar tonight,” Jerry Lawler chimed in. “Unfortunate news that his partner Erik is sidelined with an injury.”
“That’s right,” Pat said solemnly. “Erik is expected to miss about three months with a separated shoulder. Just brutal luck.”
Andrade came out next.
The bell rang and the two powerhouses circled each other warily before clashing in a furious tie-up. They battled back and forth, the pace increasingly frantic, until a sudden high knee stunned Andrade. Ivar followed up with a huge running ax handle smash before scaling the ropes.
“Here it comes! The Iva—no, wait!” Pat shouted as Andrade recovered and shoved Ivar off the top rope to the floor.
After a tense few moments, Ivar struggled back into the ring…only to get flattened by Andrade’s brutal double knee facebreaker! Andrade stumbled over to make the cover…
1…
2…
But Ivar kicked out at the last second! The crowd was electric as the two heavyweights continued to punish each other with stiff strikes and impactful slams.
Ivar gained the upper hand, a Viking Raid hit and the roll up!
1…
2…
3!!! The crowd erupted in shock as Ivar scored his first singles victory over the overwhelmed Andrade!
Winner: Ivar
Fade to commercial
The Final Judgment
The lights dimmed and an ominous toll echoed through the arena as the Final Judgment’s entrance music hit. Damian Priest emerged first, his face eerily stoic as he led the way to the ring. Dominik Mysterio and Rhea Ripley followed close behind, the three members of the unhinged faction standing side by side.
Priest snatched a microphone and the hellish music cut out, leaving the arena thick with uneasy silence.
“My torment will be eternal…” Priest’s gravelly voice boomed. “My judgment will be…final.”
He turned to glare at Mysterio and Ripley, then continued. “Ever since I took you two lost souls under my wing, you have walked the path of righteousness. You have purged your past sins through service to me!”
The crowd showered them with boos and jeers, but the three menacing figures didn’t flinch. Dominik nodded solemnly while Rhea stood motionless, the very image of Priest’s indoctrinated protege.
“However!” Priest’s voice rose to a growling roar. “Your devotion will soon be tested! The grand reckoning approache—”
But he was cut off as Dominik suddenly STRUCK HIM FROM BEHIND! Priest crumpled dazedly to the mat as the crowd went beserk. Rhea’s cold facade shattered into a sly smile as she and Dominik shared a sinister look.
Wasting no time, they began mercilessly stomping away at their fallen leader! Priest tried feebly to protect himself, but he was overwhelmed by the vicious onslaught.
“What is happening?!” Pat cried through the mayhem. “Priest’s own disciples are turning on him!”
After reducing Priest to a battered, barely-conscious heap, Dominik draped an arm around Rhea and backed up the ramp, the two shooting venomous looks and harsh laughter back towards the ring.
“My god…” Lawler stammered in disbelief. “I think we just witnessed Final Judgment’s incredible downfall at the hands of their own members.”
Main Event
Solo Sikoa vs Chris Jericho
Jericho hits the Codebreaker! He hooks the leg! 1…2…3! Jericho has done it! He’s defeated the seemingly unstoppable Solo Sikoa in the middle of this ring!
“What a monumental win for Chris Jericho here tonight!” Exclaims Jerry Lawler.
But wait…wait a minute! That’s The Rock’s music!? The Great One is storming the ring, and he’s got vengeance on his mind! Rock unleashes a furious assault on the unsuspecting Jericho!
Jericho is defenseless as The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment unleashes his rage!
But here comes the Scottish Warrior, Drew McIntyre, sprinting down the ramp! McIntyre slides into the ring to try and even the odds against The Brahma Bull…but SOLO SIKOA IS BACK! The Enforcer takes out McIntyre’s legs!
Jericho and McIntyre are completely overwhelmed now, at the mercy of the onslaught from Rock and Sikoa! The Rock hits The People’s Elbow on Jericho as Sikoa stomps away at McIntyre!
Wait…do you hear that? That’s the sound of a prizefight! It’s Kevin Owens! KO races down to the ring as the fans explode in a frenzy!
Owens drives his shoulder into The Rock, knocking him through the ropes! Solo turns around right into a massive Owens pop-up powerbomb! Sikoa gets planted into the mat!
And Owens isn’t done yet! Rock charges back in, trying to regain control, but he runs right into another earth-shattering pop-up powerbomb! The Great One is folded up like an accordion!
What an incredible turn of events! Kevin Owens coming to the rescue, saving Jericho and McIntyre from seeming decimation at the hands of the electrifying Rock and the monstrous Solo!
The fans are going berserk as Owens helps up Jericho and Drew! What a memorable night of action, shock…and Kevin Owens making an unforgettable debut!
Winner: Chris Jericho
End of Show
Update * Chad Gable returned and defeated Austin Theory in the United States Championship Tournament match. This match took place before the show aired.
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NXT Results
04/23/2024
Wrap Party
The scene opens in a lavish banquet hall, where the cast and crew of Cobra Kai are gathered for the season six wrap party. The room is adorned with Cobra Kai banners and memorabilia, and the air is filled with laughter and celebration.
At the center of the festivities are William Zabka (Johnny Lawrence), Ralph Macchio (Daniel LaRusso), Martin Kove (John Kreese), Thomas Ian Griffith (Terry Silver), and Xolo Mariduena (Miguel Diaz). They are surrounded by their co-stars and crew members, exchanging congratulatory hugs and reminiscing about the intense but rewarding filming process.
The energy in the room reaches a fever pitch, with music blasting and drinks flowing freely. Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Bobby Lashley, accompanied by the Street Profits (Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins), storms into the venue.
Lashley, his face twisted in a menacing scowl, makes a beeline for Johnny Lawrence and Miguel Diaz, who are caught off guard by the unexpected intrusion. Before anyone can react, Lashley and the Street Profits launch a vicious assault, unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks upon the unsuspecting duo.
The rest of the Cobra Kai cast and crew watch in horror as the brutal attack unfolds, their celebratory mood shattered by the sudden violence. Chaos erupts as security guards rush to intervene.
Fades to commercial
NXT North American Championship Tournament Match
Kushida vs Johnny Gargano
The two competitors circle the ring, sizing each other up with intense focus. Gargano, known for his tenacity and never-say-die attitude, locks eyes with the ever-calculating Kushida, a master of technical wrestling and submission holds.
The action kicks off with a furious exchange of strikes and grappling, as both men look to establish early dominance. Kushida’s technical prowess is on full display as he seamlessly transitions between holds, frustrating Gargano with his precision and mat-based offense.
However, Gargano’s resilience shines through as he powers out of Kushida’s submission attempts, unleashing a series of blistering strikes that rock the Japanese superstar. The tide begins to turn in Gargano’s favor as he targets Kushida’s core with a barrage of stiff kicks and knees.
The match reaches a fever pitch when Gargano hits his signature Gargano Escape on the ring apron, leaving Kushida crumpled on the floor. Sensing an opportunity, Gargano ascends the top rope, but Kushida manages to recover and drop him with a perfectly timed superkick.
Both men trade finishers and near-falls, leaving the crowd on the edge of their seats. In a dramatic finale, Gargano counters Kushida’s Hoverboard Lock attempt into a rollup, securing a heart-stopping victory to advance in the North American Championship Tournament.
Kushida try share a moment of mutual respect, acknowledging the intensity of their battle and the sacrifices they’ve made to reach this stage but Johnny Knoxville cuts in between them and gives Gargano a big hug
Winner: Johnny Gargano
Pat McAfee: “The match is now set. It will be Johnny Gargano facing Bronson Reed to determine the first ever NXT North American Champion.
Fade to commercial
Main Event
NXT Championship Match
Lexis king vs Austin Theory
The sold-out crowd in the NXT arena is electric as the iconic sounds of Lexis King’s entrance music fill the air. The reigning NXT Champion makes his way to the ring, basking in the adulation of the WWE Universe. On the opposite side, Austin Theory emerges, his cocky swagger masking the underlying frustration from his recent setbacks.
The opening bell rings, and the two competitors waste no time engaging in a heated exchange of strikes and grappling. Theory’s agility and athleticism are on full display as he looks to overwhelm the champion with his relentless offense.
However, King’s experience and technical prowess soon become evident. She counters Theory’s high-flying attacks with precision, grounding the brash challenger and methodically wearing him down with targeted strikes and submissions.
As the match progresses, the action spills to the outside, with both competitors utilizing the unforgiving environment to their advantage. Theory narrowly avoids catastrophe when he counters King’s attempt at a superplex on the ring apron, sending the champion crashing to the floor.
With King momentarily incapacitated, Theory seizes the opportunity and hits his signature ATL (Attitude Thinks he Lays) finisher. The referee’s count reaches two, but King manages to roll his shoulder up at the last possible moment, much to the disbelief of Theory and the raucous crowd.
Frustration mounts for Theory as King begins to take control, countering his every move and methodically dismantling his offense. In a climactic moment, King locks in his devastating Kingdom’s Throne submission hold, and Theory has no choice but to tap out, surrendering the match and the NXT Title.
As King celebrates her hard-fought victory, the dejected Theory is left to ponder his future. Having fallen short in both the United States Title Tournament and his quest for the NXT Championship, questions swirl about where he goes from here and whether his overconfidence has become his downfall.
The broadcast team speculates that a change in attitude and a renewed focus may be necessary for Theory to recapture the momentum he once had as one of NXT’s hottest prospects.
Winner: Lexis King
End of Show
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 