Ok, I know. You’re all concerned about me, but I insist that I am ok. I will say more about this later, but I have decided to take advantage of my employer-imposed house arrest by writing lyrics for a rap album about my struggles as the high priest of Maxwellianism. After I make my first billion I plan to retire from anything having to do with wrestling except the part I will play preaching the good word being better than others on behalf of our new lord!
Now let’s get right to it!
TEN. 90’S BASH & UGLY NIPPLES: THE HIGH-MINDED MENACE
AEW pulled off its first ratings victory in almost a month last Monday in large part due to the antics of High-Minded when they brought Lady Love back from the local city zoo to distract the Usos and cost them the tag titles!
This minor detour from the Bloodline’s success as of late was brought to you by Midget Hogan, and the menace of yesteryear is intent on leading the menaces of today to prominence. On this week’s Dark, we saw the gang sitting around and planning a movie marathon from the 90’s in addition to planning a possible 90’s theme entrance coming up. I would love that!
I know that Mickey would too, because it would likely remind him of a time that was easier for him, but that’s another story for another time.
NINE. BIRTH OF DOC BROWN 6
In the wake of some chaos in WWE after Elizabeth grabbed Murrey by the balls and compelled him to shake everything up (more on that later), we see Doc Brown assemble his Cocaine Avengers: Stare Man (Hook), Muscle Man (Flex), Guitar Man (Elias), Ninja Man (Nakamura), Forgotten Man (Murphy), and Taco Man. They are led by their fearless leader, Wild Man, with his double fake identities: Doc Brown and Chris Lloyd.
Planning to wreak havoc on the industry with insane ideas (pretty sure I could have won that Speed title), rule breaking (see Nakamura and Brown trying to sign up for a match forbidden to Nakamura), almost winning the big one, and lots and lots of cocaine and steroids (with some Prime), this new group borne out of necessity after Murrey disbanded the Misfits promises to change the game and I can’t wait to see what’s to come!
EIGHT. DREW EYES THE ROCK
For the first time since the Rumble back in January, I find myself having hope that WWE may finally bring us full circle to a one on one between the Rock and the man he beat in a triple threat for the WWE title: Drew McIntyre.
You should remember that I am a big fan of Drew, and was pretty shocked when he dropped the gold to Rock back at the Rumble. As much as I have truly enjoyed Rock’s run as champion, I still feel some kind of way about Drew losing this title in such an unjust manner.
Now, with Gunther out of the picture (again, more later), Drew’s path back to the title is undeniable. Let’s go!!
SEVEN. KISSED BY A ROSE
One of my absolute favorite moments in WWE this past week was this backstage segment on NXT with the former Women’s Ascendant Champion Mandy Rose receiving a beautiful bouquet from her former tag team partner, Sonya Deville.
Sonya making Mandy very uncomfortable with her advances had me excited for what I think will be Sonya’s best work to date. Never mind that we didn’t get a follow-up for Sonya’s involvement in the Women’s title match just nine days ago, because I actually think that this direction will be superior!
SIX. NEW DAY TOPPLES THE RAIDERS
I am getting tired of having egg in my face. Just when I was pretty sure that the Viking Raiders would reign for at least a year, WWE throws me a massive curve ball by having the New Day take the gold from this once dominant team.
Not that this didn’t make since, because the New Day had recent success before TNF and Big E was not even a week removed from being screwed out of the WWE title. Instead, I was disheartened only because I enjoyed seeing a tag team like the Viking Raiders wrecking the tag division somewhere.
Now, the only question I have now is: how do the Raiders bounce back from this?
FIVE. ROUSEY STEPS UP
After Bianca overtook Sasha Banks as the new Knockouts Champion, the clause that held Rousey back from challenging for the title (due to her previous loss to Chyna) was erased. Now, Ronda has kind of taken on the mantle of being Bianca’s protector from Sasha and Chyna.
I am all for this, especially if it leads to a Bianca v. Rousey match in the very near future (maybe at the PPV). Unfortunately for Rousey, I don’t believe that a near future challenge for the Knockouts Title will be fruitful for her, so she will likely have to wait until after the draft.
FOUR. HEYMAN & LESNAR
The best drama of the week (outside of anything involving my family, of course) was this encounter between a frightened wise man and his former beast incarnate.
Lesnar expressing his rage seeing his former advocate playing side bitch for Roman was great, and seeing Heyman sniveling and pleading for his life while trying to tell Brock that he couldn’t leave as Roman’s counsel even if he wanted to was “cinema”, as the kids say.
I fully expect more from this after Lesnar gets done dealing with Sting and Darby. Possibly as a foil for Roman’s title aspirations or as his first major challenger!
THREE. BLOODLINE DOMINANCE
It can’t be stated enough how great things have been as of late for the lineage which includes Roman, Umaga, the Usos, Yokozuna, Solo, Nia, and Rock.
With Solo joining the Rock in WWE and Roman tightening his grip on the Bloodline main chapter in AEW and now eyeing the AEW title, it is feeling as if this family is finally asserting itself in a way that no other wrestling family has been able to since the Harts or even the Mouse family.
Rock looks truly unstoppable right now with his younger cousin at his side, and one has to wonder if anymore Bloodline members will join there to continue this era of dominance.
Over in AEW, while High-Minded certainly through a monkey wrench into their operation by helping Omega and Page win the tag gold, the Bloodline are more formidable than ever, I am beginning to worry about the wrestling-defining reign of our lord and savior!
I need to write a song about this!
TWO. NEXT UP SENSATIONS = SWERVE & LEXIS
WWE and AEW each have a pair of true future stars on their hands. I have been in awe of both Swerve Strickland and Lexis King for a while now, and I can only sit here and put my hands together for what they have done in a short period of time.
From the moment that HCW traded Swerve to AEW, I knew something was going to come out of this, and boy was I right. Long gone are the days that Swerve was serving Santos Escobar on Ascendants after losing a match against him, and now we see Swerve speaking with conviction that the line for the TV title starts with him!
As for Lexis, I have been a major and outspoken fan of his since he arrived in WWE, and my fandom has only grown since then. His recent vignette on Level Up in a cemetery was something special, and I find myself rooting for him to willingly vacate the NXT Title and go after Rock or Drew!
The future is indeed VERY bright!
ONE. BENNY’S DILEMMA
There is no greater drama in the industry than the story being told about my youngest brother, his ex-wife, their daughter, and the fate of AEW.
Since Starrcade in 2021, when we saw Megan visiting her father in the hospital, we have been seeing this odd story unfold. It may have taken two years, but Megan finally paid a price for seizing control of AEW after her father was hospitalized, and it came in the form of Benny and Sami kidnapping her at last year’s Starrcade.
Now, Benny and Sami have been cornered with the revelation that he has dementia as well as an impending decision from the board on his future as the chairman thereof. He has hinted at retaliated in the most unimaginably horrific thing that he can conceive, and Molly Mouse has pleaded with him to reconsider this.
Molly’s words resonated with Benny in a way that no one else’s has up to now. He has repeatedly made it clear that Molly is the love of his wife – that is despite him briefly plowing Moxley’s wife in the “Dark”..eh? eh?? -, and he seems to have been swayed in favor of sparing their daughter. HOWEVER, Sami has effectively threatened to follow through if Benny can’t or won’t.
So, what is Benny to do now? He has announced that he will be addressing the audience and the board in response to Molly’s plea this coming Monday. More on this, though, in my predictions for the coming week!
HONORABLE MENTIONS
This truly was an incredibly jam-packed week in wrestling, and there was so much to consider for this week’s installment of everyone’s favorite wrestling column. That’s why I have decided – at least for this week – to offer some honorable mentions for things and people which didn’t make the top ten!
Firstly, let me (VERY BRIEFLY) comment on the showcase of my celebration of the deity of professional wrestling: MJF. I got the heads up from the Mmouse Enterprises Board that there was footage intercepted and aired by AEW as part of MJF’s celebration. I initially want to thank my lord and savior for recognizing my devotion to him.
Yet, the Board unfortunately chose to cherry-pick footage and forced me to watch what I did in my inebriated state. Look, when you are part of the BTY Cult, you have no inhibitions, because we sincerely live every second of the creed that we are better than you, and you should absolutely know it!
Enough about me, though, because it is time to express my shock at Jeff Murrey’s decision to trade away his European Champion – a dominant figure he has been building since last summer, and a man who just survived two recent WWE champions 9 DAYS AGO – to AEW, and then proceeded to bury Gunther and the European Title on television on Smackdown.
Is it any wonder that Gunther strolled into AEW and threw the beautiful European gold into the damn trash can?!! Nothing like that has ever happened before in our industry, and now we are about to see an awesome program between Swerve and Gunther for the right to challenge Cody for the TV Title.
As I was trying to detox last night, I was in a serious discussion with someone from the BWM Inc. Board (who asked to remain anonymous), and they made it clear that this trade “will cost AEW dearly”. So, I am going to guess that the person traded to WWE in exchange was VERY high profile. Likely the former AEW Champion, Bryan Danielson. Just saying.
As part of WWE’s separation from Gunther and the European Title, Murrey announced the next trash can title, er…the US Title, which will apparently be exclusive to American employees. Um, what? Has Murrey been seeking advice from John Godwinn lately? While I am intrigued by the rules of this Isolationist Championship, I worry that Murrey has been getting tainted injections from Doc Brown as of late. He probably thinks it helps with ED as he prepares to give Liz the pickle. Hmmm.
And finally, I want to comment on the fact that everyone now is jumping on board the recognition that a new era is nearing.
I know not what the Seventh Era will bring us, but I do know that it will be unlike anything we have ever seen. I’m very excited for it, to be honest, and I hope you are as well!
That’s it for me tonight. Betterness be with you all!!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 