In the cold open to AEW Dark, the scene opens with a shot of Hulk Hogan’s mansion, as our camera cuts from the exterior establishing shot to an opulent living room, where the High Minded members – Hulk Hogan, Matt Riddle, Randy Savage, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall, and their manager Midget Hogan are having a sleepover.
The living room is decked out in over-the-top 90s decor, complete with neon lights, inflatable furniture, and lava lamps. The members are in outrageous 90s attire, sporting bright colors, bucket hats, and fanny packs. Midget Hogan sits on a miniature bean bag chair, wearing a miniature grunge outfit that’s capped off with a Hogan-esque feather boa.
Hulk Hogan: Welcome to the ultimate 90s throwback movie night, brothers! I’m so glad Macho Man suggested this – it’s good for us to bond amidst all the chaos. Let’s put all of that noise with the Bloodline out of our heads, Jack. Tonight we’re going to take these iconic 90s movies and give ’em the High Minded treatment!
Matt Riddle takes a big bong rip and exhales.
Matt Riddle: Hey Midge, I gotta hand it to ya, bro. Bringing Lady Love out to flash her ugly boobies at the Usos? Genius move, man.
Midget Hogan shoots Riddle a look of discomfort as he glares at him, shaking his head.
Midget Hogan: Don’t talk about her that way, man. She may not be everybody’s cup of tea, but she’s actually a really great gal.
The rest of the High Minded members chuckle at Midget Hogan’s defense of Lady Love.
Scott Hall: Aw, look at Midge defending his crush! Ain’t that sweet?
Kevin Nash: Leave it to a little person to develop a fetish for the tallest transexual in the world.
Scott Hall: Now, now. Let’s not be transphobic. I know this is a 90s party, but we don’t wanna get canceled.
Matt Riddle: Transphobic? Nah, bro, I love all kinds of transportation. Vans, trucks, motorcycles – you name it! If anyone has a problem with cars, I guess we’ll just have to settle this in a parking lot, dude!
The group bursts into laughter, teasing Midget Hogan in good fun as Riddle suddenly remembers why they’ve all gathered at Hulk’s house for this sleepover.
Matt Riddle: But seriously, bro, I’ve got the most bodacious idea! Picture this – ‘Jurassic Park,’ but with me riding a T-Rex out to the ring!
Midget Hogan: Now that’s what I’m talking about! I could be the mini Jeff Goldblum, spoutin’ off some funky one-liners. It’d be epic!
Macho Man: Ohhh yeah! And I’ll be that blond dude from the Titanic! Maybe I could call in some favors with Liz and reenact the “I’m the King of the world” scene, ya dig?
Scott Hall: Hey yo, I’m thinkin’ ‘The Big Lebowski’ vibes for me. I’ll be the dude with the bowling ball, chico.
Kevin Nash: I’m all about ‘The Lion King,’ man. I’ll roar in the ring as Mufasa, ruling over the competition!
Hulk Hogan: That’s what I’m talkin’ about, brothers! I’ve got an idea for what we can watch first!
In unison, the rest of High Minded shout out, “No Mr. Nanny!”
Hulk Hogan: Fine, fine. Let’s crank up the insanity and give these 90s movies a High Minded makeover like never before! But first, who’s up for some cosmic bowling and pizza?
The group erupts into cheers and laughter as Riddle passes the bong around. They all share a hearty laugh and the camera fades as High Minded revels in their nostalgic extravaganza!
At ringside, Renee Young and Taz welcome us back to Dark! We’re already off to a wild start with what we’ve just seen, and there’s still plenty more to come on wrestling’s only online weekly show! Taz says that this past Monday, we saw Benny Mouse’s ex-wife Molly deliver an emotional call for Benny’s resignation to save what’s left of their family and the company they’ve built together. Benny responded with his first direct letter to the press in years, and will announce his decision Monday on Dynamite!
They’re interrupted by Nia Jax, who comes to the ring with a microphone.
Nia Jax: Alright, listen up, because the Queen of Spades has something to say!
The crowd boos as Nia continues.
Nia Jax: In case you’ve been living under a rock, let me remind you who I am. I am Nia Jax, and I am unstoppable. I’ve been dominating in that ring week after week, crushing anyone who dares to step in my path.
Renee Young: It’s hard to disagree with her there!
Nia Jax: But you know what? I’m tired. I’m tired of being relegated to the B show, tired of being overlooked while others get all the spotlight. Well, no more.
Nia’s confidence radiates as she speaks, her eyes locked on the camera, conveying her unwavering determination.
Nia Jax: Wrestling runs in my blood. I come from a family of champions, a lineage of greatness that stretches across promotions and generations. And mark my words, it’s only a matter of time before I take my rightful place at the top of this industry.
Taz: Strong words from Nia Jax to kick off AEW Dark!
Nia Jax: Madison Rayne, Tay Conti, they were just the beginning. I’ve proven time and time again that I am the alpha female in this division, and I will not be denied what is rightfully mine. So to all the women in the back who think they stand a chance against me, I’ve got one thing to say: bring it on. Because Nia Jax is here to dominate, and there’s nothing and no one that can stand in my way.
Jax looks directly into the camera as she addresses her employers to end the promo.
Nia Jax: And as for the brass here in BWM Inc., if they don’t get their shit together and start treating me with the respect I deserve, then maybe I’ll have to explore my options elsewhere. Who knows, maybe you’ll see me tearing it up in the WOW Draft. The choice is yours, BWM Inc.!
Match #1: Exhibition Match
Nia Jax vs. Sensational Sherry
As Nia Jax stands tall in the ring, her triumphant words echoing throughout the arena, the familiar strains of Sensational Sherry’s theme music begin to play, signaling the start of our opening contest for AEW Dark.
Taz: Oh boy, here we go! The Sensational Sherry making her way to the ring, but she’s got her work cut out for her tonight, Renee!
Renee Young: Absolutely, Taz! Sherry is as tough as they come, but she’s facing off against the dominant force that is Nia Jax.
Taz: Sherry wasting no time here, going right after Nia Jax!
Renee Young: But look at the power of Jax! She’s barely even fazed by Sherry’s offense!
Indeed, despite Sherry’s valiant efforts, Nia Jax proves to be an unstoppable force in the ring. With her sheer size and power advantage, she effortlessly overpowers Sherry at every turn, dominating the match from start to finish.
Taz: This is just brutal, Renee! Jax is absolutely manhandling Sherry!
Renee Young: It’s like trying to stop a freight train, Taz! Sherry is giving it everything she’s got, but it’s just not enough!
After a one-sided battle, Nia Jax delivers the finishing blow, a devastating Samoan Drop that leaves Sensational Sherry sprawled out on the mat.
Taz: And there it is, folks! The Samoan Drop from Nia Jax seals the deal!
Renee Young: What a dominant performance from Nia Jax! She barely broke a sweat out there!
As Nia Jax stands tall in the ring, her victory secured, the crowd erupts into cheers and applause, acknowledging the sheer dominance of the Queen of Spades.
Winner: Nia Jax
Match Time: 6:08
Our cameras open in a dimly lit underground club, the air thick with anticipation and the pulsating beat of electronic music.
The shot cuts to the club’s stage, bathed in neon lights and smoke, as Grayson Waller emerges from behind a velvet curtain.
The shot cuts again to Waller, clad in sleek black attire with hints of silver, stepping into the spotlight with a confident swagger.
Another cut, this time to the crowd in the club, as Waller takes center stage, the audience in the club eagerly anticipating his remarks.
The camera shows Waller at a microphone, looking out to the club. He addresses the dance club, his voice dripping with charisma and confidence.
Grayson Waller: Welcome to the underground, where legends are born and dreams become reality.
The vignette fades, with the words, “Grayson Waller – Coming Soon” panning over the screen.
Back at ringside, Taz and Renee Young discuss the impending arrival of Grayson Waller, one of the hottest free agents out of Australia who is on his way to AEW.
Match #2 | Exhibition Match
The Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent Baretta) vs. The Lucha Bros (Rey Fenix, Penta)
In a high-octane showdown lasting a thrilling 8 minutes, the electrifying Lucha Bros clashed with the formidable Best Friends.
From the moment the bell rang, both teams unleashed a flurry of lightning-fast strikes, breathtaking aerial maneuvers, and painful submissions, keeping the crowd on the edge of their seats with every heart-pounding moment.
Taz: The intensity in this match is off the charts, Renee! These two teams are leaving it all in the ring tonight!
As the match reached its climax, the Lucha Bros unleashed their signature finishing move, the Fear Factor, a devastating double-team maneuver that spelled the end for the Best Friends. With the arena erupting in cheers, the Lucha Bros secured a much-needed victory as they hope to climb the ranks of the tag team division!
Taz: And that’s it! The Lucha Bros with an impressive win here tonight, Renee! They continue to prove why they’re one of the most capable teams in AEW!
Winners: The Lucha Bros
Match Time: 8:34
The scene opens in the depths of darkness, shrouded in an eerie mist that swirls around ancient tombstones and gnarled trees. The silhouette of two imposing figures emerges from the shadows, their presence casting a chilling aura over the desolate landscape.
As the camera pans closer, the unmistakable visages of the Brothers of Destruction, the Undertaker and Kane, come into view. Clad in their signature attire, their eyes gleam with an otherworldly intensity as they stand amidst the eerie ambiance of the graveyard.
Undertaker: Kane, my brother. The time has come for us to once again unleash our wrath upon the world of tag team wrestling.
Kane: The Brothers of Destruction shall rise again, and all who stand in our path shall meet their doom.
Undertaker: For too long have we languished in the shadows, shackled by the whims of others. But no more. Now, we stand alone, free from the chains that once bound us. Gone are the days when we were mere pawns in Darby Allin’s twisted game, now, we chart our own path, guided by the darkness that dwells within us.
Kane delivers a solemn nod of understanding.
Kane: Together, we shall unleash a reign of terror upon the world of tag team wrestling. And all who dare to challenge us shall meet their end in the cold embrace of oblivion.
As the mist curls around them like a cloak of shadows, the Brothers of Destruction stand united, their bond forged in the crucible of darkness. With a shared sense of purpose, they disappear into the night, leaving behind a haunting echo of their ominous proclamation.
For the Brothers of Destruction are no longer bound by the chains of servitude. They are free to reign once more, and they promise to unleash hell on any who stand in their way!
Match #3: Exhibition Match
Swerve Strickland vs. Cesaro
The bell rings, and the match between Swerve Strickland and Cesaro begins. Both competitors circle each other in the ring, showcasing their respective athleticism and skill. Cesaro tries to use his strength advantage early on, but Swerve’s agility allows him to evade Cesaro’s attempts at grapples and locks.
As the match progresses, Swerve begins to take control with his innovative offense, using a combination of strikes and high-flying maneuvers to keep Cesaro on the defensive. Cesaro fights back with his raw power, delivering punishing uppercuts and suplexes to try and turn the tide.
However, Swerve stays one step ahead, countering Cesaro’s power moves with his speed and agility. He unleashes a flurry of kicks and strikes, wearing down Cesaro with each blow. Sensing an opportunity, Swerve ascends the turnbuckle and delivers a breathtaking House Call, connecting squarely with Cesaro’s jaw.
Cesaro staggers back, dazed from the impact of the House Call. Seizing the moment, Swerve quickly follows up with his signature Swerve Stomp, driving Cesaro into the mat with authority. The referee counts the pinfall, and Swerve secures the victory.
On commentary, Taz and Renee Young are impressed by Swerve’s performance, noting his ability to outmaneuver a seasoned veteran like Cesaro. They discuss Swerve’s recent accomplishments, including his win over AJ Styles at New Horizons, and his near miss against Cody Rhodes for the TV Championship.
Taz emphasizes the importance of this victory for Swerve, stating that it could be the catalyst for him to reclaim momentum and continue his ascent in AEW. Renee Young agrees, praising Swerve’s potential and predicting that big things are on the horizon for the talented newcomer.
Winner: Swerve Strickland
Match Time: 10:50
As Swerve stands victorious in the ring, the crowd buzzing with energy, he grabs the mic, his voice cutting through the air with authority.
Swerve Strickland: Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it’s done! Cesaro, you’re one tough opponent, but tonight, Swerve came out on top!
The audience cheers in agreement, showing their appreciation for the thrilling match they just witnessed.
Swerve Strickland: But let’s talk about last Monday. Cody Rhodes, you got lucky, man. I’ll give credit where it’s due, you pulled out all the stops. But let’s get one thing straight – that was a fluke! We all have off days, and this past Monday was mine.
Swerve’s expression changes, as he becomes less jovial and more determined. He spits in the ring before continuing.
Swerve Strickland: And now, we’ve got Gunther lurking around, thinking he can just waltz in here and take over. Well, guess what? This is Swerve’s House, baby! And if Gunther thinks he’s gonna step over me to get to Cody Rhodes, he’s got another thing coming! Because I’m not backing down, and I’m sure as hell not gonna let anyone take my spot!
With a confident smirk, Swerve tosses the mic aside, his message sent loud and clear to the entire AEW roster. He’s ready for whatever challenges lie ahead, and he’s not afraid to prove himself as the best in the business.
Renee and Taz thank the audience for joining us on AEW Dark, and say they’ll see us all on Monday for Dynamite!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 