Not even an urgent summons with several angry emails and left messages from my superiors can sour my mood for what’s to come tonight! Let’s get right into it!
WWE:
Disclaimer: I have not yet watched Smackdown from this past Friday, so please forgive me for being out of the loop here as I make my predictions:
The Viking Raiders
As mentioned before, I am seriously doubting that there is anyone on this planet who can dethrone Erik and Ivar in WWE’s Tag Division. Honestly, I am impressed; especially since this is a division presided over by Murrey. Outside of USWA and the EWA/AEW tag scene (for obvious reasons), no other tag division has seen champions last for approaching a year. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Raiders become the longest reigning champions in any tag division, ever, before it is all said and done. It will take a little while, but I am seeing no end in sight here.
I suspect that the picture as to who MAY dethrone the champions will become VERY clear this coming Monday as WWE switches gear into their next season, but it may actually involve a team not yet listed on the roster.
Gunther
Due to a no contest – which I wasn’t super crazy about, honestly, but I won’t cry about seeing this great rivalry continue -, Gunther’s European title reign survived at TNF2, and we will most certainly see the stage set for their rematch at the next big WWE show. Bet on it.
Asuka and the Women’s Division
Asuka, as my counterpart remarked, is making a great argument for being the best women’s wrestler of all time; even if she is in the most non-traditional women’s division of all time. WWE is essentially the king of comedy wrestling, and I am definitely ok with that. However, it is a little sad to see such an iconic roster locked up in rivalries involving dildos, vibrators, and reenactments of movies filming the very hot Rebecca DeMornay.
Why can’t we just have one moment in wrestling where we have some sanity in this business?
Excuse me…WOW…holy shit…just pulled the longest string of cocaine-laced booger out that I have seen in my life. Jesus, maybe I should party less hard next time I celebrate.
…nah.
ANYWAYS, where was I? Oh yeah, I am tired of only seeing instability. The women deserve better. For sure.
Regardless, I am suspecting that we will have some kind of set up for a tag match involving Asuka, Rhea, Sonya, and Lacey at the next PPV, or maybe even a fatal four. Should be good. Just leave the sex toys at home…ok?
Johnny Lawrence
Did I say that I wanted more stability? Well, that definitely excludes anything related to our NEW Intercontinental Champion, Johnny Lawrence! Here, I suspect that the new champion will swiftly move on from his geriatric former fiancé and on to a new challenger; do I see Hook on the horizon?
The Rock builds a Stable
Finally, The Rock is cooking up something epic in the weeks to come, and I see the champion both formally establishing his own Bloodline chapter as well as seeing his next challenger step up to the plate!
AEW:
The Elite v. The Acclaimed
Alright, now on to a promotion that actually gave me a fucking preview, we have the impending debut of Max Caster and the other guy (sorry dude, I am WAY too hung over still from the greatest celebration of a new deity of all time to remember YOUR name). They will be taking on a team that was once in line to be recognized as the next GOAT team after the Harlem Turtles, Miz and Morrison.
I mean, if you think that The Elite get a victory here against these long-awaited newcomers, then I have a shitty bridge in Philly to sell you!
Honestly, I think I actually do own a bridge in Philly. I seem to recall a moment in my pilgrimage to New Jersey a conversation of a lucrative purchase in Philadelphia with a guy under a bridge, and I seem to remember him resembling a troll. Either I made a risky purchase or DID something risky, I really can’t remember.
I must lay off the drugs in these benders, man!
Vader v. Brock Lesnar
MJF’s former big bitch takes on the biggest non-bitch of all time. Vader was once in the monster position that Lesnar is now. Remember in ECW when Vader was on them steroids and practically made of bricks? He was once the MOST feared man in wrestling, but the muscle magic wore off and now Lesnar is looking to dine on some legend meat…wait. That is bringing a very unwanted memory back from that bridge…OH NOOOOOOOO!!
…I think I need help here. Shit.
Lesnar just came back at New Horizons and I predict that Vader will be lucky to see another horizon after this upcoming beat down from the BEAST INCARNATE!
Tag Title Match: Usos © v. Page & Omega
The last match of which we are aware features Jimmy and Jey Uso defending their titles against Omega and Page. Since the Bloodline is on somewhat of a roll – and industry-wide, at that -, I highly doubt that they are dropping the titles here, and part of that is due to me foreseeing Omega and Page having some kind of falling out soon.
Should be an epic match, though!
Benny’s Address
Benny is a tragic embarrassment to our family. I can’t believe that he would do the heinous and debasing things that we have seen from him as of late. Going missing for close to a week and being found in a pile of…wait. FUCK!
My youngest sibling recently instructed Sami Zayn to carry out some dastardly plan that will appall the lot of us. Moreover, Splinter and the Turtles tried and failed to rescue Megan from the institution only to find out that she was already signed out. I see these things all coming together in an unimaginable fashion.
I am not sure what Benny could do that Mickey hasn’t already done many times over, but I suppose I am not exploring the darkest recesses of my mind. Seriously, I don’t want to go there right now. Too many things I am uncovering from my exploits in spreading the good word. Maxwell help me!
Logan Paul’s Celebration for MJF
Speaking of our new leader, Logan Paul plans to help usher in the Maxwellian era with a celebration fit for the ACTUAL King of Kings (as opposed to that carpenter fraud from Bethlehem).
I am getting all of my supplies stocked and ready. This is my guy’s moment to shine brighter than anything we have ever seen before? May have to go on another pilgrimage! I here the West Coast is good this time of year!
Move over Book of Mormon, because the Salt of the Earth is coming!
PWI/HCW:
WRESTLEMANIA X: One Final Spectacle
Ted Brown (HCW) v. The Ultimate Warrior (PWI)
Now, on to less-deifying things, the final installment of Wrestlemania under the Mmouse Enterprises banner will unfold 23 years to the day after what was arguably the greatest installment of all time, at Wrestlemania V!
The show kicks off with an encounter between the Acting HCW President, Ted Brown, and Mickey’s latest muscle, the Ultimate Warrior. Warrior attacked Ted after Ted caused his injury and cost him the Undisputed Title at the first Global Conflict and Ted has arranged for this match to put an end to this.
Warrior is in danger of having a third consecutive match without a victory since returning in January while Ted is in danger of letting this feud distract him from the greater war unfolding. It is unclear whether this is Warrior acting on his own or if Mickey sent him to get rid of Ted, but one thing is clear: this will be a brawl!
Tag Titles: The Young Bucks © (PWI) v. The Attraction (1)
Here it is, the tag match that many critics have been clamoring for ever since the Young Bucks captured the titles. While this will be the third encounter between these two teams (first was at Motivation X, and the second was a couple months ago on Asylum), this is the first time that these two teams will battle it out 2 on 2!
The past two encounters were simply stories of these teams getting in each other’s way. The Attraction won the first encounter in an awesome ladder match to win the tag gold, and then the Young Bucks won the second ladder match, which was also awesome.
Of course, this isn’t the whole story. While the Bucks are in the midst of a run of a lifetime, Teo and Attitude have some trouble in paradise. Can the Attraction get passed their internal issues and become tag champions once again, or will they flub this opportunity as well?
Should be a classic!
Extreme Title: “The Hero” Crock © v. Jesse Hash
Friendly fire is afoot as the HCW Extreme Champion and his smoking buddy Jesse Hash clash for the only gold exclusive to HCW. It has been a LONG time since Hash has held any title, but the Crock knows all about that, because no current or recent champion has had as long a drought as the one he overcame when he captured this title.
The winner of this encounter goes on to defend the title in two weeks’ time at Global Conflict IV: No Mercy against LA Knight and R-Truth. So, regardless of what one thinks of this prize, there will be plenty of eyes on this outcome, and it is a nice outing for HCW, to be honest.
Premier Title – Men’s Premier Tournament Finale: Attitude (MDC) v. Phobe (PWI) v. LA Knight (HCW) v. Matt Cardona (PWI)
Then we have the formal introduction of a new mid-card title in PWI with the finale of the final men’s Premier Athlete Tournament Roulette. It has been an incredible journey for the four men going at it in this impending war, and I am being told that there will be unique, randomly-drawn, rules for this one-off finale.
Attitude heads into his second match of the night here, and he hopes to already have the tag gold in doing so. Phobe will be keeping one eye on the outside for a possible interference from Brian Cage or Terminator. LA Knight has pledged that he intends to unify the Premier Title with the Extreme Title at Global Conflict IV, and Matt Cardona is heading into this on a monster wave of momentum after winning the Epic Royale.
This really is a situation where anyone can win, and I may be more excited for this one than I am for almost any other match on the card!
Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss © v. Toni Storm (2)
The Abigail-possessed three-time Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss, is back atop the women’s division that she has effectively dominated for going on 4 ½ years, and she has both spooked Mickey into possibly doing her bidding while preparing for her significant underdog of a challenger: Toni Storm.
Toni shouldn’t be underestimated herself, though. She is an incredible talent and has emerged through the ranks after having some incredible success in the live shows in the first quarter of this year. But will her skill be enough to topple the otherworldly champion? We shall see!
MAIN EVENT – Undisputed Title: Dragonfly © (HCW) v. Metalhead (HCW) v. Rhyno (PWI)
Finally, we have the final main event out of the ten Wrestlemanias hosted by Mmouse Enterprises. Think about this one for a second: Dragonfly is now THE longest reigning world champion in the history of the company, and under 200 days away from toppling Duxen for the longest reigning world champion of all time.
Collectively, he has been a world champion for more days than ANY other superstar put together, and now he faces his two greatest foes of all time in a triple threat that would have been a dream match 3 eras ago.
Think about the history that Dragonfly has with his first major rival: Rhyno. His victory over Rhyno in the finale of the UWA Heavyweight Title tournament at the first Motivation is what gave him his first world title, which itself became the longest world title reign in company history up to that point. The two had numerous classic encounters throughout the Third and HCW eras, and now we are seeing what may be the FINAL encounter between them!
Then there is the likewise storied history between Dragonfly and Metalhead; the two top guys of their respective promotions in the Third Era, and even for the latter half of the Fourth Era. The Fifth Era started with a classic between them which suddenly ended when Dragonfly collapsed from injuries mysteriously sustained by an attack much later revealed to be at the hands of Robby Storm.
The last time these two met was shortly after Metalhead was drafted to PWI this past summer. Metalhead challenged unsuccessfully for the Undisputed Title in a great encounter, and now he has jumped ship to HCW and is looking like Ted Brown’s pick to liberate HCW from Dragonfly’s tyranny.
This will be THE main event of the evening, across the board. I can’t wait, and now the clock ticks down to the moment of truth!
Let’s get ready for another amazing week of wrestling in the waning days of the Sixth Era!!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 