Apologies for the delay this week, things have been rather hectic in the Hyatte-verse, which has kept me from earning my keep as the hardest working wrestling pundit on the internet. Unfortunately, since the weekend passed me by, we’re going to have to combine the Mop-Up and the Preview this week, and we’ll return with the Superstar Series next week. I’ve got a big guest lined up for that, so stay tuned!
Now, onto what you’re all here for!
WWE:
The Samoan Disappointment: One of the best things about all three big companies (er, four I guess, if you count HCW, but let’s be real, no one’s counting HCW) putting out such quality content week after week is the fact that the companies can sort of play off one another, creating new ways to keep the fans entertained. Two weeks ago, Samoa Joe went to AEW (in a continuation of the positive working relationship between the WWE & AEW) only to come up short in his match with Bryan Danielson. On Raw this past Monday, Joe found himself on the receiving end of a verbal bashing from the WWE Champion. The Rock was upset that Joe didn’t win the match, and my fellow pundit (K)enny Mouse said that Joe got what he had coming to him. Honestly, there’s no shame in Joe taking the L to the then-future AEW World Heavyweight Champion, and for my money, Joe’s come out the other end better than he started. Not only did he get to share the scene with two of the industry’s top talents, he’s also found himself the subject of our commentary for the first time in his career. I’d say that’s a net positive, no?
The Board Grows: We got not one, but two reveals of the WWE’s ongoing mystery surrounding the company’s Board of Directors this week, with Terry Silver as the new VP of Celebrities and Fandango as the Head of Makeup & Wardrobe. By my count, that means we now know the identity of at least six of the eight mystery board members (so far we’ve got Miss Elizabeth, Camden Cross, Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper, Terry Silver, and Fandango) This has become one of my favorite subplots in the company, and I’m looking forward to seeing the final reveals as well as the mounting tension between Cross and Murrey that’s sure to play out in the coming months. What can I say, I’m a sucker for power struggles in the sport of pro-wrestling, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Inject this shit into my veins, puhleaaaseee.
Goody, Goody Gum Drop: Though I’m a happily married man, I found myself thinking a lot this week about the best gum-job in the world, which I have on good authority is the specialty of one Ryback’s Mother. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find the old lady attractive, but if there’s one thing Johnny Lawrence knows well, it’s the BJ, as I’m sure he’s been on the receiving end of more suck jobs than my floors when I run the Hoover. Jokes aside, this was yet another ongoing escalation in what’s seriously the most intense rivalry in the company, if not one of the most heated feuds in the entire industry. I’m still waiting for Ryback to fuck the corpse of Lawrence’s mother, because that’s about all I can think of for these two to take their hatred of one another to the next level.
Brock Anderson: Arn’s son had another good week in WWE, as he begins his career just as his father did: under contract with Murrey. What’s interesting about Anderson is he is being built up as a legitimate threat to the champions. One would assume he’ll eventually challenge for the NXT belt, but with the Rock appearing on NXT as much as he has, perhaps they’ll pull a swerve and have Anderson work with the Great One in a post Then Now Forever 2 landscape. The fact that I’m even imagining Anderson in either of those roles a mere two weeks after his debut is a testament to the company’s ability to get people over with the snap of Murrey’s fingers.
The King: Lexis King remains one of the hottest acts in WWE, and his work over the past two weeks has been some of the most captivating in the entire industry. While I don’t think Reed should defeat him at the PPV, it’s hard to argue that King could easily drop the belt and move onto the main championship in the company. He’s that good.
What to Watch For:
I feel like we’re going to see one more of the final two board members revealed in the coming weeks, with the final reveal likely for TNF 2. I don’t know why, but I’ve got a weird urge to see Jesse Ventura on my TV again, perhaps even in a short but sweet program with the second generation star Brock Anderson.
The Rock is also likely to get a big win heading into TNF 2, to keep up with the pace of his challenger Big E.
I also think we’ll get some movement in the Gunther, Drew McIntyre & Priest story.
PWI/HCW:
The Million Dollar Company: After DiBiase’s M.D.C. entered the Global Conflict Series with a whimper, we’ve seen DiBiase recover in the weeks that followed, building perhaps the strongest roster of all three entities in the series. The longer this goes on, the more I find myself cheering for DiBiase, because I truly want to see what a Million Dollar Company looks like. DiBiase is one of the OG Pioneers of Pro Wrestling, and if there’s anyone out there not named Murrey or Mouse who can run a compelling show, it’s this man!
Fatal Attraction: Remember last week when I said that Attitude joining DiBiase while Teo continued down his path of redemption created an interesting and compelling story that made it hard to predict where they’d go next? Turns out I was right, because even though Teo tried to get on board with Attitude, Attitude showed reluctance to raise his partners hands after they made short work of FTR. I assumed any sort of implosion between the two would be the result of Teo not wanting to work with the Corporation, but Teo sucked it up and it STILL didn’t seem good enough for Attitude. Though they’re one of my favorite teams in PWI, I don’t see them lasting for the duration of the season and the more I think on it, the more I’m hyped for another war between the two!
Perfect Bones: As much as I hate to give HCW props (I might even hate doing so even more than notorious HCW-hater Ric Venom) I have to give them credit for the side feud between Mr. Perfect, Mr. Kennedy, and the Edge Court. Though Hans Gustav meticulously broke the fingers, arms, legs, and neck of Perfect, his bones were still strong enough to run throughout the arena in Columbus searching for Kennedy, who has found a way to escape Gustav’s torment. This is way better than it has the right to be, and props to all of the guys involved for making this goofy shit work.
The Pinnacle Implodes: Shawn Spears entered the company as the next big thing, and got himself a powerful stable in the process. However, Spears has since taken a backseat to guys like Matt Cardona & LA Knight, both of whom have proven they’re perhaps more deserving of the spot than Mr. Spears. Spears, frustrated with FTR’s loss to the Attraction, attacked his fellow stablemates and it looks to me as if the Pinnacle is dead. Why did this make my list? Well, it’s because though this was nothing truly groundbreaking, I recognize the attempt to again elevate Spears to the same tier as the two superstars mentioned above. The segment left me hoping to see Spears hit his partners one more time, like Brittney said (no relation, I don’t think…) We’ll see what’s next for Spears, especially in the absence of a mid-card belt since they killed off the Immunity Championship. MMouse Enterprises has always had a pension of having the underdog guys pull of big upsets, so who knows, perhaps Spears goes out as the company’s last champion??
Wyatt’s Gonna Kill You: First and foremost, the best thing in PWI this week was Bray Wyatt & The Firefly Funhouse. The transition shot of The Fiend to Bray Wyatt also wins the award for coolest cinematic moment of the week. Bray Wyatt made his intentions known: He’s going to get revenge on Mickey. Hell, he even threatened to kill him!!! He said Mickey’s Endgame is coming, but it’s not the one Mickey sees coming. Holy shit, he might actually murder Mickey!! Can we finally admit that it’s been Bray fucking with Mickey’s home, and that Mickey is actually no crazier than he’s ever been? Y’all owe that Mouse an apology!!!
What to Watch For:
The card for Monday night is pretty solid, and I’ve heard from inside sources that from Global Conflict 3 and onwards, the company plans to really kick things into high gear. I think what I’m looking forward to the most this week is Becky Lynch & Jade Cargill, which is a match that deserves to be higher up on the card, if not on a PPV. That said, the match may not even happen after what AJ did to Becky, so it’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out. No way Cargill loses her first match back. That’s fine, Becky’s a big star and she can afford to take the L on this one.
Additionally, I think Giant Gonzales’ Open Challenge Gauntlet Match could be really interesting. I’m hoping to see at least one face from the past in it, but who knows, maybe we’ll get several surprises! (Or maybe none at all?) The one thing that’s certain is Gonzales is walking out of this one with a victory as he marches those titanium legs towards Dragonfly, who happens to be so scared of Gonzales that he can’t even remember how old he is!
Unfortunately, that is all the time I’ve got this week, I promise I’ll make it up to you all next week! Until then, I’m off to find Ryback’s mother. Don’t tell my wife.
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 