Welcome back, wrestling fans, it’s your favorite hot-headed pundit with the mop, aka the hardest working wrestling journalist on the planet, the one and only Chris Hyatte! Before we get started for our first of two columns through the weekend (which will now be a regular thing) I wanted to give a shout out to all three major promotions for one of the best nights of wrestling I’ve ever witnessed. Each and every program this week left me screaming for more, and all I’ve thought of since Monday & Tuesday is how everyone is firing on all cylinders, and how I cannot ever remember a time the industry was as hot as it is right now.
WWE:
Brock Anderson: It’ll be hard to argue that anyone had a better week in the WWE than the newest second generation superstar Brock Anderson, the son of AEW’s legendary color commentator Arn Anderson. Brock was teased as a different superstar, which had guesses ranging from Brock Lesnar to Beast (the blue guy, as Lenny Mouse so eloquently put it.) Instead, Camden Cross presented the young and hungry blue-chipper, Brock Anderson, who immediately turned on Jeff Murrey. In Anderson’s defense, Murrey was asking for it, as he expected to berate Brock Anderson without consequence. Murrey declared an end to the era of jokes (I’ll believe that when I see it!) and he got the taste slapped out of his mouth for his remarks about Brock’s father Arn. (For what it’s worth, Murrey wasn’t necessarily wrong – Jesse Ventura WAS the bigger star than Arn, and had Arn not found his calling as a member of BWM Inc.’s broadcast team, we probably wouldn’t be talking about him…) Brock Anderson’s momentum continued on NXT Level Up, where he scored a statement victory over Kushida. Oh, and let’s not forget the subtle tension that’s brewing between Jeff Murrey and Camden Cross – yeah, I saw that smirk, Mr. Cross! Layered storytelling? Yes please!
The KY Defense: If we thought last week’s visual with Lacey Evans assaulting her opponents with a vibrator was memorable, we’ve got to admit that this week’s escalation in the women’s division was even more entertaining. In her match with Piper Niven, Lacey Evans lathered herself up with KY jelly for one of the most innovative defense strategies I’ve ever seen in the sport. Evans was so slippery, in fact, that not only did she defeat Niven, she gained the upper hand when Sonya Deville looked to get revenge for the last few weeks of verbal and physical attacks from Evans. As soon as I picked my jaw up off the floor, I busted a gut laughing at the shenanigans. And yes, this happened only one night after Murrey said the era of jokes had ended.
The Nursing Home Love Story: Anyone else suddenly want to see a cross-generational love story starring William Zabka and “Ryback’s Mom?” Because I’d pay good money for that Rom-Com. Hell, I might even be willing to finance it, if Zabka ever decides to get back into acting! All jokes aside, this blood feud between Ryback and Johnny Lawrence is growing increasingly personal, as arson will no longer cut it and now Lawrence is attempting to become Ryback’s stepfather so he can take him over his knee… I mean, seriously folks, how do they even come up with this stuff? It’s great, and the writers deserve a pay raise. If you’d have told me a few months ago that the upcoming showdown between the two would be among the most anticipated matches at WWE’s biggest show of the year, I’d probably not have believed you, but alas, here we are. The roof is going to blow off the building when (that’s right, WHEN, not IF) Johnny Lawrence wins the IC title at Then Now Forever 2.
Finally, the Rock has come back…: The Rock’s highly anticipated return to Monday Night Raw to address his Then Now Forever 2 opponent Big E was, as expected, one of the highlights of WWE programming this week. And even though it went mostly how Lenny and I predicted, that didn’t matter because the segment was never about shock factor, it was about furthering this story and legitimizing Big E. I still don’t want Big E to become the champion, but that’s nothing against E, I’m just that into the Rock’s run on top. The two ran each other down, tossed out a few PWI jokes as one does, and then signed the contract in a segment that grew my anticipation for the upcoming main event. What more could you ask for? (Oh, and on a personal note, I feel quite vindicated as the leader of the Chris Hyatte Crybabies TM, because the Rock’s drawing power put the show back in second place, just like I said it would!)
Lexis Is King: In the main event segment of NXT Level Up, King again worked his magic on the microphone with an intense promo about his late father, and how he’s going to step out of his shadow once and for all to defeat Bronson Reed come Stand & Deliver. King is one of the hottest acts in the industry right now, and if I’m Brock Anderson that perhaps would have motivated me to sign with the WWE. Because they’ve proven they can take a second generation star from 0 to 100 real damn fast. Props to WWE for building the stars of tomorrow, because trust me, I know how easy and tempting it is for the bookers to keep the same folks at the top of the card.
Honorable Mention: Austin Theory had a solid showing on the microphone this week, and we finally got some exposition to explain the WHY of it all when it comes to the Theory/Gargano/LaRae storyline. I was shocked to learn that Theory never had an affair with Candice, who was clearly making it look as if the two hooked up to awaken Gargano. And props to Candice, because this is the most relevant that Gargano has been since his Ascendant Class days. I’m looking forward to this one coming to a head soon!
PWI:
Vinnie Mouse: In a career defining performance, Vinnie Mouse returned for the most watched segment of the week, in which he delivered an emotional plea to Catherine Mouse. Vinnie hasn’t been well since Shane Murphy’s passing, and he explained that Murphy was the brother he chose. The brothers he actually has, however, have all lost their fucking minds. Vinnie said that Benny has dementia, Lenny is obsessed with MJF, and Mickey… well, he’s crazier than ever! Vinnie apologized to Catherine for not being a good uncle, and he implored her to save her daughter Jackie from Mickey’s influence before it’s too late. Vinnie said that wrestling is in their blood, and that Catherine cannot allow Mickey and Benny to kill the industry. I’m not going to lie, this segment legitimately got me emotional. I’ve laughed a ton over the years, and I’ve even gotten angry, but this might’ve been the first time I shed a tear during a wrestling promo. Bravo, Vinnie Mouse and Catherine, this segment single handedly did more to sell the Global Conflict series and the build to Armageddon 4 than anything that’s preceded it. MORE OF THIS, PLEASE!!!
Everyone’s Got a Price: Speaking of emotional promos that kept me on the edge of my seat, hats off to Teo & Attitude for some of the most interesting character work we’ve seen from them in years. Teo’s finally on the straight and narrow after years of being a literal vulture, so he’s upset that Attitude aligned himself with the Million Dollar Corporation. Attitude says that sure is convenient for Teo, because he’s never got the same opportunities. They agree to remain a team, even though Teo doesn’t want to work with the MDC. This creates an interesting layer of tension between the duo that I admittedly never saw coming, and gives PWI (and even whatever, if anything, comes next post-PWI) a few different options to freshen up the story between the two. Had the Vinnie segment not happened, this would have been my favorite part of PWI programming this week.
No One Stands Up…: A close third would be the shocking return of the Giant Fucking Gonzales, who was presumed retired for good. Gonzales is perhaps the king of returns that nobody expects at this point, as when he disappears, he stays gone for a while!! Gonzales added some much needed star power to the Million Dollar Corporation, and he’s set himself up as Dragonfly’s next challenger. I still don’t see Dragonfly’s reign ending, but it gives the champion something compelling to do while Randy Orton deals with Matt Cardona.
She Loves Me: In an interesting twist to the ongoing AJ Lee/Becky Lynch saga, Alexa Bliss got into AJ’s head and did the most dangerous thing you can do to a delusional person: She validated her. Bliss told Lee that Becky just forgot, and that she does want to be her best friend and she just needs a reminder. And with Bliss telling AJ what she wanted to hear, she ignored Becky’s previous instructions and tried to help her in her Women’s Championship defense against Maryse. Much to Bliss’s delight, I’d imagine, Lee’s involvement actually cost Becky Lynch the championship, as Maryse becomes the first ever woman affiliated with the HCW to win the Women’s gold. Solid storytelling here that made EVERYONE involved look better.
RIP Slammu: Speaking of solid storytelling, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the other big twists from this week. As Slammu battled it out with his nemesis Karrion Kross, we got the surprise debut/return of RIP, Slammu’s brother who we’ve not seen for over two decades. RIP has never enjoyed the success that Slammu and Slammer have enjoyed, but this is a good nostalgia feud that I’m very much looking forward to seeing play out over the coming weeks and months. Kross and RIP were revealed as the latest defections to the MDC, giving them a point in the Global Conflict series on a night where they weren’t even competing! DiBiase’s character works so well in this role. Sure, he’s a millionaire douche, but he legitimately wants to keep the industry going and he’s got an intensity that HCW is severely lacking. These alliances, however brief and necessary for the moment they may be, all make sense in terms of the motivations of the characters, as so eloquently explained by Attitude.
Honorable Mention: Randy Orton reemerged this week and told Lawrence Mason that he’s not affiliated with any side, and that all he cares about is the World Championship. That’s pretty on brand for Orton, who prior to last Summer was one of the most loyal BWM Inc. superstars in the business. It would be silly for Orton to care about the ongoing success of the PWI, HCW, or Million Dollar Corporation, so this works perfectly. Add to that the intrigue from the interaction with Matt Cardona, a “guy who actually wins,” and I’m left begging for more!
Unfortunately, that’s all we’ve got time for for this installment, I’ll be back by the end of the weekend with the Superstar Series and the previews for the week to come!
World Of Wrestling: Murrey Universe 