April 22, 2023
Chairman Mickey M. Mouse issued the following statement moments ago:
“While I may not appreciate the attempt at a hostile takeover of my company for the umpteenth time whether by a member of my family or otherwise, I can appreciate the success of Catherine’s decision on the schedule in my absence earlier this year. Wednesday Night War and the return of Ascendants have proven to be very beneficial since the beginning of the year, as the rebound of the ratings has shown. In fact, Wednesday Night War has so far recorded many of our highest rated shows for the season so far!
The message is clear: the fans of PWI want MORE PWI, not less! So, with that message reverberating off of my walls each and every week, I am here to announce a significant expansion to the PWI schedule!
Starting this summer, 8 days after Motivation, the Preseason will begin. Yes, that’s correct, I said 8 days, not a month. ‘PWI Live’ will be broadcast every Monday – not every other Monday – starting 8 days after Motivation and through to the end of September. Moreover, ‘Legends’ will be resurrected as a Monday broadcast during our so-called seasonal breaks, starting 8 days after the December and March Pay Per Views and proceeding through to the first Monday of January and April, respectfully.
Finally, I am officially moving ‘The Uprising’ and ‘The Spotlight’ to the Mondays 6 days prior to the December PPV and Motivation, and this begins with the upcoming installment of ‘The Uprising’ this June!
With this new schedule in place, I have no doubt that the PWI will never lose momentum again, and that our supposed competition will find it near impossible to keep pace with us!
P.S.: HCW Insanity, if you care about that stupid show, will assume a Wednesday slot throughout the Preseason and Seasonal Breaks.”
Respectfully submitted by:
Mmouse Enterprises Spokesman, Lawrence Mason