Press Conference: Mmouse Enterprises Chair Responds to Numerous Lawsuit Threats Against Him

Mmouse Enterprises Headquarters

Memphis, Tennessee

March 31, 2023


(LM = Lawrence Mason)

*The spokesman for Mmouse Enterprises, Lawrence Mason approaches the podium*

LM: Greetings, members of the press. In light of recent developments pertaining to lawsuits, the impending return of wrestling in the coming weeks, and the return of the Chairman a few weeks ago, we are gathered here today for an address from the Chairman of the Board of Mmouse Enterprises. With anymore delay, please join me in welcoming back Mr. Mouse, the chair.

(MM = Mickey Mouse)

*The Chairman comes up to the podium chuckling to himself*

MM: Thank you, Lawrence, and thank all of you for joining me today. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Since 2019, I have been the target of a host of dishonest parties attempting to tear down my image and soil my good name. From that deceiver and jealous has been Jeff Murrey conning his way into the chair of my company to him doing the same to Camden Cross after I fired him a couple years ago.

From me entrusting the fate of Mmouse Enterprises to my ungrateful daughter to her trying to usurp my position still to this day when I stepped in to right the ship that she was driving into the ground.

From a bestowing the honor of locker leader upon a long-time veteran of my company to seeing that same person make a bogus claim to my wealth on account of my father’s infidelity which led to an illegitimate birth. The vultures are swirling in the sky above me, waiting for me to slip. Well, I am not going to be slipping anytime soon, I can promise you that!

I am here to tell you that Mr. Murrey’s lawsuit is as legitimate as Scott Nash’s assertion to be my brother. Both will fail to achieve their ends, as Nash has no proof that he deserves a single penny of my father’s money – let alone my immense wealth -, and Murrey conveniently forgets that he sold – in the summer of 1997 – Mmouse Enterprises the rights to the trademarks about which he is whining today.

The trademark sale is a primary reason why Murrey elected to close the WWF by the summer of 1998. And it is also why he didn’t give the company more than one additional go by the end of that year. He ceded the rights to the trademarks completely 25 years ago, and I assure you that this frivolous lawsuit will be laughed out of any court of law. His desperation is pathetic as he looks to do what every opponent of mine has done in the time since the USWA took the helm of this industry 26 years ago: fall and restart.

In fact, the repeated deaths and resurrections of my countless foes amongst rival promoters started with him, as Jeff Murrey was the first of my victims in building my empire as I deposed him from the top of this industry that he made mainstream and took it to new heights that he could barely dream of. This lawsuit is a product not of a preponderance of evidence in his favor or righting any wrong done to him. Rather, it is a tool for attention from a man who lost his ability to steer the industry when I took the reins from him in the greatest revolution that has ever taken place in professional wrestling.

He saw the failure of Camden Cross to unseat me with the HLW and AXW. He saw this as an opportunity to Ric Venom his way into a leadership position and eventual ownership of a company that he had no role in starting. Despite the early success of Cross, Murrey couldn’t save the company from imploding from its lack of direction and determination to succeed.

Not even my own brother, Benny, could withstand the constant pressures of battling my consistent product on a weekly basis. This is why AEW, EWA, NEW, or whatever the hell those idiots want to call themselves this month have collapsed the moment it looks like PWI might be mounting serious momentum. Their undefeated ratings victories against the PWI are not a stamp of their superiority to us, but a mirage created by their use of erratic booking and the brief unsustainable excitement generated by coming back from time to time instead of staying the course.

Alas, the gig is up, my friends, because I have reason to believe that this tactic is due to backfire on my so-called competition. I’m not going to sit here and brag about some fancy new formula that will serve as a secret weapon to win back our post at the top of my industry. On the contrary, I am going to merely tell you that the proverbial proof will be in the pudding. If my competition truly does come back at any point in the near future, it will be to a resounding series of losses.

Just wait and see.

Finally, I want to address the drama within PWI and Mmouse Enterprises. Firstly, Scott Nash has gotten himself in over his head with this lawsuit, and while he overcame the odds at The Epic, I know for a fact that his hopes of taking my wealth will not have the same outcome. These odds are insurmountable for him. Nash is going to embarrass himself and the HCW, and we will finally be free of that ridiculous “wrestling” brand once and for all once I am finished with the lot of them. Ted Brown will regret throwing his weight behind Nash’s lawsuit after I end up controlling the HCW and driving a stake through its corroded heart!

With respect to my rebellious hellion of a daughter, Catherine, I could not be more disappointed. She could have learned how to rule this industry with an iron fist, but she would prefer to start a war with me over the control of my company. No, I can not fire her, but I will make life miserable for her, and she will be brought to heel. Catherine will recognize that I am in control and she will accept her demotion as her daughter steps up and assumes the role of my heir to the throne of professional wrestling.

I will have more to say in the coming days as we head towards the final trimester of the 6th Season of PWI with Motivation X on the horizon. Thank you.

*The Chairman leaves as the press shout questions*

Published by Daniel Crawford

I'm a single father of two, one of four children of a single mother (who passed at the age of 49), an activist, an aspiring public servant, an author, a podcast host, and an average member of the working class.

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